Back step singing and Starting back to school

Tomorrow I start back to school for the first time in ages.  I have my books:  Pharmaceutical Calculations, Pharmacy Law, and Pharmaceutical Chemistry, Compounding and Drug Dispensing.  I am pumped. I am scared.

As usual, I can’t sleep.  When in doubt, I often look to music.  During the Christmas holidays, at 3:00 am in the morning, as I looked up at the stars and connected with their Maker, I threw back my arms and belted out the Halleluia Chorus.  I am no singer, but what I lack in expertise and tone, I make up for with joy and jumping up and down and waving my arms.

Tonight, I already feel the song to the stars in my soul:  Nessun Dorma from Puccini’s unfinished opera, Turandot.  This version is by Pavaroti, live in Paris.  The English translation is below.  I find many of the words apt and the tune always makes my heart feel too big for my chest.  So often I have sat on my back steps and watched it snow, felt the rain fall upon me, wrapped myself in my grandmother’s quilt while frost gathered on the grass, listened to cicada, inhaled the incredible aroma of honeysuckle. So many poems written as I sat alone and felt the world move around me.

Not everyone is into opera, but I think we all are into living our lives fully and with passion.  Close your eyes, let the incredible beauty of the melody enter you, let the inspirational power of the human voice lift you to the stars….and please, don’t think of me singing this when you do. I want you to soar, not bunny hop!

Nobody shall sleep!… 
Nobody shall sleep! 
Even you, o Princess, 
in your cold room, 
watch the stars, 
that tremble with love and with hope.
But my secret is hidden within me,
my name no one shall know… 
On your mouth I will tell it when the light shines.
And my kiss will dissolve the silence that makes you mine!…
(No one will know his name and we must, alas, die.)
Vanish, o night! 
Set, stars! Set, stars! 
At dawn, I will win! I will win! I will win!

34 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Line
    May 15, 2014 @ 22:23:29

    Oh, wow, how brave going back to school! 🙂 Wonderful! I bet you will have a lovely lovely time learning something new 🙂 I grew up with this kind of music in the house, and my brother still loves opera, so for me this song is soothing and comforting 🙂 And the way you described yourself composing poetry in the falling snow was so beautiful!


    • kanzensakura
      May 15, 2014 @ 22:28:53

      I too grew up hearing opera and all types of other music. This has been one of my favorites since I first heard it-the delicate melody and the powerful words. I am still looking out for flower dragons so I can draw you one.


  2. cindy knoke
    May 15, 2014 @ 23:22:23

    Pavoratti, what is more sublime! Best of best luck to you. You will be brilliant I suspect~


  3. glasgowdragonfly
    May 16, 2014 @ 03:56:42

    Best wishes for your first day! 🙂


  4. SirenaTales
    May 16, 2014 @ 08:09:18

    Thank you for all of this beauty and inspiration, and chuckles. Soar, baby, soar. xoxo


    • kanzensakura
      May 16, 2014 @ 14:03:09

      Wow…I had such fun today. it is incredible, things I had learned when I was “into” pharmacy years ago, I still remember! and so many changes. I am going to enjoy this so much. Thank you so very much for your encouragement and inspiration.


      • SirenaTales
        May 16, 2014 @ 14:55:24

        Yay you–thought of you as I headed off to a tough dance class :). I knew it would be great, you would be great….


        • kanzensakura
          May 16, 2014 @ 21:12:25

          I thought of all the wonderful and loving people who were “with” me this morning as I trucked off to school with my purple notebook under my arm. Along with laptop…LOL. My husband said he thought it was precious I had bought a purple Hello Kitty notebook for school. Oldest one there but….the only one with Hello Kitty in tow.


  5. Let's CUT the Crap!
    May 16, 2014 @ 10:02:49

    You will kick…you know what. Yay. Like I tell my granddaughters, “Learning is F-U-N.” Good for you. Awesome.
    Love Nessun Dorma. The first time I heard it was by Mario Lanza. We had an LP (remember those?) and I must have worn it out playing this song in my younger days. This melody always makes me cry. Silly. I know but it does. Thanks for the memory.


  6. seeker
    May 16, 2014 @ 15:58:56

    I Love Opera. I used to in my yesteryears. One of my favourites is La Traviata. And this man is all time favourites. Hope the songs made you feel settled going back to school. Cheers.


  7. John Thomas Dodds
    May 16, 2014 @ 22:03:03

    I was 65 when I completed my Special Education Licence in Mass. Going back to school at that age was to put it mildly stimulating. Music, and yes Opera, was my companion. I can relate. Go Girl!


  8. FlaHam
    May 17, 2014 @ 15:56:11

    Kanzen, I am so proud of you. It take’s a lot of courage to do as your doing. I know you will be successful, and I know you will have a great time. I am also sure I will be hearing a ton of music. Take care, keep me posted. You best be bringing home some “A”s. Take care, Bill


    • kanzensakura
      May 17, 2014 @ 19:39:24

      Dear Bill, I will do my best to bring home A’s. I had such a good time at school. I truly did. And in your honor, I also ripped out Styx’s Not Dead Yet…because that was how I felt…still alive and kicking, contrary to popular belief of those who felt I was too old….joke’s on them. Hugs. Date: Sat, 17 May 2014 19:56:12 +0000 To:


  9. Willy Nilly
    May 17, 2014 @ 21:42:05

    It was my greatest privilege to serve and work with the intellectual national treasures of several countries in my life. People that don’t make the mainstream news, but accomplish things that impact millions of lives in positive ways. They each had similar personal traits. They were overcome by their emotions at times, they were passionate about forging ahead and learning new things. They shared themselves and their knowledge and they cared about the people they met and those impacted by their work. They were insomniacs at times. They loved music and sang it loudly, sometimes out of tune. You share those traits. Remember, in your new endeavors, when you fear the most, when your doubt is greatest, let your faith be at its strongest and forge ahead with all your angst and Hello Kitty by your side. You’ve already done the hard part. You started. The rest is the common labor of success. I wish you the best of luck and stunning accomplishment.:-)


  10. jaklumen
    May 18, 2014 @ 01:14:10

    I have found pharmacists invaluable– the pharmacy is where anyone can get some medical advice for free (not counting the costs of the supplies, of course). I wish you the best.


  11. huntmode
    May 18, 2014 @ 22:26:36

    Before I read any of the other comments, got to get this down. First, thank you! I have loved this without ever knowing what it was – I think it was in the Godfather at one point, number 4 or something – I remember trying to track it down. Second, Pavorotti and my husband bear a striking resemblance to one another, such that my heart always catches when I see Pavorotti. So, thank you for a cascade of memories. Third, so proud of you, Kanzen! So proud to know you. Best and xxoo Huntie


    • kanzensakura
      May 18, 2014 @ 23:00:28

      My dear Huntie, I am am so blessed by you and your care. I have just so loved Nessun Dorma since I was a kid. And Pavarotti, the way he just shinesvwhen he sings! I am so glad this brought good memories for you. So very glad. When I can connect like this, I feel like I have been giving a great blessing. 🙂


  12. sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.
    May 20, 2014 @ 05:39:36

    Kanzen – I’m so anxious for you to dive into your classes. Our pharmacy system in the US is in such a mess and I have a series of investigative blogs coming up in the near future. I also have work I’m doing on what the pharmaceutical companies want us to believe about generics.
    I love your back porch singing. We’ve been doing a lot of singing around here. Tom’s ill but I can vouch for the healing powers of singing. I think my shih tzu is getting tired of my having her dance with me however. She’s 15 and would much rather nap.
    This is a great post and so encouraging that you’re going back to school. You are setting a new ‘can do’ standard for women everywhere. Sheri


    • kanzensakura
      May 20, 2014 @ 12:37:29

      My best wishes and prayers for you and your Tom. Hold your sweet pup in your arms while you dance – napping and dancing can be done at the same time! 🙂


  13. el34ax7
    May 26, 2014 @ 20:13:47

    Opera doesn’t always hit me, but when it does, it hits HARD. This is one of those times. I remember seeing “The Marriage of Figaro” and hearing this:

    The first two notes and I’m emotional.

    You are like every great memory wrapped in one person, Mrs. Sakura.


    • kanzensakura
      May 26, 2014 @ 20:45:38

      And this is another of those tear producing times in opera. I grew up with opera – we played and listened to all kinds of music in my home. I remember the first time I saw this opera – I was 10 and the NC opera company did this at the Capitol – my parents were so pleased and excited to be going and to take me with them. I am taken back to those golden days of time with my family. thank you.


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