Tango Tuesday: More Than This

I rarely post about having fibromyalgia and being clinically depressed.  My blog is not about that.  Many of you will probably say, But Kanzen Honey, you write haiku, poems, musings. recipes….so who knows what your blog is about?

True. but it ain’t about my fibromyalgia and clinical depression.  There are people who do blog about those and I have found their journeys to be inspiring and strengthening.  Rarely do any complain.  Many will note their current condition but almost, only in passing.  They are not letting their condition define them, they are defining their condition.  They are continuing to move forward on that journey.  And that, is the answer! And my inspiration.

Last night I was talking with a friend who told me I was being too hard on myself – to put on one of my favorite danceable hip-shaking songs and dance.  My depression has jumped on me with both feet and I know it is time for an adjustment with my meds.  So that is the goal today and to studystudystudy!!!

I am also going to do as my very wise friend suggests and dance.  But not to one of those hip shaking songs.  No, I think a nice smooth ballroom tango to a long time favorite song that suits my mood at this time. Oddly, I was singing and humming this song and swaying while, of all things, I was grilling burgers and a nice fat Vidalia onion <grin>. My husband asked, “what is that song?  Sounds like a tango?”  I said, Roxy Music, Bryan Ferry, More Than This.  He gaped at me.  I sometimes forget he is 10 years younger and we have a world of difference between us at times.

After dinner, I played the video for him so he could see and hear Bryan Ferry. He said, “that is lovely but so sad”. I told him “no, not really. Bittersweet, wistful, mono no aware(the pathos of things), sunt lacrimae rerum et mentem mortalia tangunt (we know the pathos of things and mortal things touch our hearts)”. He groaned, Oh lord, Japanese AND Latin….But he understood.

Years ago, one sweet summer morning, I held this song in my head as I danced with the waves on a deserted NC beach.  Today I’ve pushed back the table and chairs  so after dinner tonight, we can tango. A nice smooth holding, swaying, gliding, dancing with the waves tango. Sometimes, one does not always dance to express joy. Sometimes one dances as a homage to people and places gone, “like a dream in the night”.

I could feel at the time
There was no way of knowing
Fallen leaves in the night
Who can say where they´re blowing
As free as the wind
Hopefully learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning
More than this – there is nothing
More than this – tell me one thing
More than this – there is nothing
It was fun for a while
There was no way of knowing
Like a dream in the night
Who can say where we´re going
No care in the world
Maybe I´m learning
Why the sea on the tide
Has no way of turning
More than this – there is nothing
More than this – tell me one thing
More than this – there is nothing

28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Maurice A. Barry
    May 27, 2014 @ 13:06:24

    Just so happens to be one of my favourites, ever. Mind you the version done by 10000 maniacs was not bad.
    Bryan Ferry always reminds me of Midge Ure (Ultravox, Thin Lizzy). That song always goes well with this one:


  2. belsbror
    May 27, 2014 @ 13:14:27

    Enjoy! You deserved it. 🙂


  3. huntmode
    May 27, 2014 @ 15:15:12

    Enjoy the dance, Kanzen! May it lift your spirit and surround your heart with joy. HuntMode. P.S., you sent me off on a rabbit hole of trying to find a long ago song I loved of Bryan Ferry’s…


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  5. Let's CUT the Crap!
    May 27, 2014 @ 19:40:07

    I am not familiar with this song or group, but I l.i.k.e. it. Hope your spirits have soared with the dance and the upbeat music. Music is good for the soul. Dance. Dance. Dance.


  6. kalyrical
    May 27, 2014 @ 20:15:36

    Thanks for sharing wonderful music 🙂 glad that you’re able to use music to help with your mood! I hope you’re feeling a bit better now!


    • kanzensakura
      May 27, 2014 @ 20:29:42

      I will be in a couple of weeks or so when the meds take effect. In the meantime, I’ll just keep pushing myself forward. Thank you so much for your kindness.


  7. SirenaTales
    May 27, 2014 @ 20:19:49

    Oh, Kanzen, yes! Dance is nearly always the answer…for the blues, for joy, for silliness, for moving stuff around. So pleased you continue to live this, and share it. My heart goes out to you, my friend. Don’t study too hard, and remember to take frequent snack breaks with your yummy food :). Dancingly yours, xxoo


  8. FlaHam
    May 27, 2014 @ 21:23:49

    Kanzen, Such a lovely vision you painted for me, I can see you and hubby gliding around the dining room, you softly in his arms, and your cares floating away with each step. Such a beautiful vision. I know two people that suffer from fibromyalgia. One is strong like you and does not let the disease rule her. The other not so strong, so the disease is at least for now in a dead heat. It is a very good thing that your blog isn’t about fibrom yaigia or depression, though I would read it even so, I am glad your blog is about life and all the good things about it. I just wish your receipes were not so damn fattening. I have become a viral fatty just readding them LOL, and my mouth is forever watering. Take care, Bill


    • kanzensakura
      May 27, 2014 @ 23:11:02

      My dear friend Bill, your blog is one of those who I hinted at that never complains and who does not let a condition define them. it does truly inspire me. As for the recipes, reading never put an ounce on anybody! Some of them really aren’t that bad, like the fruit salad. My poor husband was so beat when he got home so we are putting off dancing for another night when he can really enjoy this. he’s a good guy and his care and love of me is unconditional and patient. He is a good man. Hugs to you and maybe you need to watch some exercise videos so you can lose some viral pounds . Hugs! Date: Wed, 28 May 2014 01:23:50 +0000 To: thspencer51@hotmail.com


  9. Line
    May 27, 2014 @ 22:44:09

    I love when you saidt this “Sometimes one dances as a homage to people and places gone, “like a dream in the night” It is so beautiful! Dancing is, I believe, about expression, it helps us express, feel, and even let go, of what we keep inside. For sometimes, I feel, it is also important to let go. Sometimes it is important to let in, to receive, but sometimes it is important to let go. I love dancing too! I feel that you danced a poem here 🙂


  10. Enchanted Seashells, Confessions of a Tugboat Captain's Wife
    May 28, 2014 @ 15:30:38

    I’m so sorry you’re suffering from this painful condition. I know someone who has it and she looks great so it’s hard sometimes for her when she’s in pain to get people to be compassionate. It’s not like a broken bone or an incision that you can see, but it’s still very real and I’m in awe of your poetic strength. LOVE LOVE this…”A nice smooth holding, swaying, gliding, dancing with the waves tango. Sometimes, one does not always dance to express joy. Sometimes one dances as a homage to people and places gone, “like a dream in the night”.”


    • kanzensakura
      May 28, 2014 @ 16:02:47

      Thank you for your kindness. Many times, I want to just give up because of the pain or depression. Like you said, it is rathe invisible so people do not think one could possible be suffering. So many people have things worse and forge ahead and never complain. I try not to because really, it just makes me feel worse. I try to be positive and get through it. I am glad you liked this post! Date: Wed, 28 May 2014 19:30:39 +0000 To: thspencer51@hotmail.com


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