dVerse Poetics: Monsoon

Today at dVerse Poetics, Abrha is the bartender. He is from India and wishes us to write about monsoon. I have never experienced monsoon but have experienced the torrential sudden rains after a long, hot dry spell of summer. I am using my imagination for monsoon and weaving in some of the past. Come visit us at dVerse. Read some of the submissions for this very different prompt. Add one of your own!

 

“I love storms. Primordial. Every bit of civilization gone. Everything true coming out.” Vanessa Ives, Penny Dreadful

Hot. Smoldering hot.
The sky like molten bronze.
It is amazing the stones of the buildings do not explode in the heat
Or melt and run in the gutters.
Rain coming. Soon. Soon.
And then the first breath –
The rain begins and  –
The skies rip and before I can open my umbrella
I am soaked to the skin –
The rain like cold needles drives into my skin,
stabbing into my heart and emptying it of secrets.
Steam rises from the street,
The buildings
My skin.
In the rising steam and driving rain
People move, barely seen, like wandering ghosts.
I have tried to chase away the memories.
In my mind I hear your voice
Like a call that crackles from a bad connection
and disconnects before I can interpret your words.
A man bumps into me and for a moment
I think he looks like you.
But he disappears into the mist and rain
And I accept I will never see you again.
Every time it rains, it reminds me of you.

49 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. billgncs
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 02:35:28

    rain, not the cold winter rains, but the warm lifegiving rain seems to align closely with love.

    Reply

  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 03:36:07

    There are those memories, rain or wind.. we think we see what’s lost again. Love how you wrote about the start of the rain, the color, and how it felt against your skin.. It’s what i imagine monsoon would be like.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 23, 2015 @ 14:02:47

      Here in the southern US, we have sweltering summers. The heat builds until there is a brief, sudden torrential rain. It does not occur daily as in the monsoon or the Japanese rainy season. It is a cold driving rain that washes things in front of it, tears leaves and small branches from trees. This sort of rain only occurs in the summer and can sometimes be destructive with wind, thunder, and lightning. The temp today will be 100F.

      Reply

  3. DELL CLOVER
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 04:49:01

    Oh Toni, this–as with so many of your poems–is beautiful and swept me away.

    Reply

  4. Mary
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 07:21:10

    You have given a good impression of what it is like before the rain…before the rain that soaks one’s skin. The ghostly images are effective, and I like the metaphor of a call that cackles from a bad connection. And, I can also imagine well that every time there is such a rain it would be a reminder…. you worked some nice imagery into this poem!

    Reply

  5. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 10:14:51

    I’ve never experienced a monsoon either but your poem brought me into the experience. That’s what really good writing does. Hugs!

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 23, 2015 @ 13:39:11

      Thank you! I could imagine a monsoon, based on descriptions. We have searing heat here down south during which heat, brief torrential rains build up. ♡♡♡

      Reply

  6. Bryan Ens
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 12:44:55

    rain…almost like tears…can certainly remind us of a those things that we long for. Love your description of surprise that the buildings aren’t melting in the heat 🙂

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 23, 2015 @ 13:37:01

      It is hot here. Literally frying an egg on the hood of the car hot. It’s during these hot times we have the brief torrential rains. If you walk across the street, you will step in soft spots in the asphalt.

      Reply

  7. X
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 14:21:01

    Nice. You capture not only the relief from the oppressive heat but also the memories that come with rain as well. Nice touch capturing the shadows of people, both in such an intense rain storm, but also the ghosts of our memories as well.

    It was 105 here just a bit ago when I went out with my son. We last like 45 minutes outside before retreating.

    Reply

  8. Linda Kruschke
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 16:25:09

    This is terrific. I love the wonder that the buildings don’t explode or melt in the heat. And then just that quick the cold rain changes everything. The last two lines are so sad and yet it is so true that something like rain can bring back such memories time and time again. Peace, Linda

    Reply

  9. claudia
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 16:47:39

    oh heck – a lot of emotion in this one…and a very personal monsoon… i like much how you connect this to the monsoon

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 24, 2015 @ 00:12:25

      Thank you. And thank you for the prompt you did on layers…it helped me gain a different perspective in my poems. Some layers have been there, but now I am more cognizant of them 🙂

      Reply

  10. Grace
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 17:16:20

    I love the waiting and seeing the rain pour down ~ The bad connection part, I can relate to ~ The ending is bittersweet 🙂

    Reply

  11. tamekamullins
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 18:27:06

    Your last three lines almost brought the tears down. I also liked how descriptive you were in talking about the rain. I could feel it.

    Reply

  12. Let's CUT the Crap!
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 18:27:15

    “The rain begins and –
    The skies rip and before I can open my umbrella
    I am soaked to the skin –
    The rain like cold needles drives into my skin,”

    I know the sudden, torrential rain like after a heat wave. What even more haunting that the ghost-like people hardly recognized because of the driving rain, is the memory, the voice, the someone who looks like…
    You continue to blossom, Kanzen. Gorgeous writing. ❤ ❤ ❤

    Reply

  13. Sanaa Rizvi
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 19:23:34

    Often the rain is associated with our memories ❤

    Excellent write 🙂

    Reply

  14. Lila
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 19:57:21

    I really like this line: “The sky like molten bronze.”

    Reply

  15. Truedessa
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 21:35:52

    sometimes that rain is needed to quench the thirst on a hot day..I have had the sky rip before I could open my umbrella..and sometimes I don’t bother with the umbrella..just let the rain fall…

    Reply

  16. thotpurge
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 21:44:16

    Lovely!

    Reply

  17. Dorianna
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 22:50:32

    very nice write..”The rain like cold needles drives into my skin,
    stabbing into my heart and emptying it of secrets” how true, a deep pounding rain does seem to purge you, bringing to the surface all you hold inside..nice work

    Reply

  18. Gabriella
    Jun 23, 2015 @ 23:58:43

    I like both the beginning when we feel that rain is coming and it is just a matter of when. But the most powerful is the memories the rain brings back and with them the painful sense of love. The fact that we do not know much about the who and how is also one of the strengths of your poem.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 24, 2015 @ 00:04:52

      The who? The only man in my life other than my husband I loved enough to make my heart bleed when he returned to Japan. He has been hinted at in a few of my poems. He is the black dragon in one of them. Thank you so very much for this comment.

      Reply

  19. Prajakta
    Jun 24, 2015 @ 00:45:57

    To close my eyes and feel those drops… Your poem transported me into the moment

    Reply

  20. kelvin s.m.
    Jun 24, 2015 @ 00:57:57

    A lot of things do really come to mind when it rains. The personal connections you have had during this season of monsoon are so sad, but then monsoon doesn’t always bring good memories. In most cases, it leaves emptiness beyond skin deep. Thanks for the poem!

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 24, 2015 @ 06:54:44

      Thank you for reading. The rain seems to was away many thungs but it can’t wash away sadness. And last night another storm and my poor garden is almost totally ruined 😦

      Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab®|PRO

      Reply

  21. rosross
    Jun 24, 2015 @ 05:14:34

    You are the rain in this…

    Reply

  22. From my Forest (@hamish_gunn)
    Jun 24, 2015 @ 09:14:21

    A stattaco voice, with great rhythm building to that sweet-bitter finale. I enjoyed reading this one.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 24, 2015 @ 12:58:37

      Thank you. I am glad you did!

      Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 24, 2015 @ 15:59:29

      Hello. I could not find where to comment on your poem for dVerse. A wonderful write. the story is so heartbreaking but the monsoon of passion at the end is riveting and satisfying. I do so wish I knew how to comment when I read your poems as I do enjoy them. I do not do FB or twitter.

      Reply

  23. kaykuala h
    Jun 24, 2015 @ 13:06:23

    How wonderful it is to be remembered in a monsoon rain situation.It can be quite often considering the occurrence of monsoon rain these days. Wonderful write Kanzen!

    Hank

    Reply

  24. katiemiafrederick
    Jun 24, 2015 @ 14:01:33

    Ghosts rains.. past shadow.. quietly.. in drops of eyes.. respite from steaming
    Summer scorch.. rains soothe.. Monsoon memory waiting ’round
    drops of yesteryears.. living still.. rains past shadow..:)

    Reply

  25. Ninot Aziz
    Jun 24, 2015 @ 15:22:43

    I love the sound of your rain Kanzensakura…

    Reply

  26. Candy
    Jun 24, 2015 @ 20:01:49

    beautiful and sadly touching

    Reply

  27. sreejaharikrishnan
    Jun 25, 2015 @ 01:35:36

    beautiful and the last lines are really so touching….

    Reply

  28. lightwalker1
    Jun 25, 2015 @ 11:57:41

    A beautiful poem. Well crafted, your selection of words to describe the heat, the rain and the wisp of memory are enticing and provocative. In love and light Cheryle

    Reply

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