d’Verse Poetics – Trains! tanka 短歌

Today at d’Verse Poetics, Bill is our conductor! He has been bicycling on trails that used to be regular train routes. He is prompting us to write about trains.  The tickets are free.  Come and climb on board and ride the rails with us:  http://dversepoets.com/2015/07/21/poetics-all-aboard

 

Summer night – humid
Air stands still – distant train sounds
Travel and nestle
In my dreams of going somewhere –
to a place of long ago.

46 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. X
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 17:35:52

    I think you will need to fix that train with a flux capacitor
    if you plan on going to a different time – at least that is what i learned
    from marty mcfly. There is a nostalgia though that comes with trains,
    it would be so cool to have taken one of those cross country train
    trips before everything became populated.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jul 21, 2015 @ 18:17:04

      Coincdentally, I bought one of those at a yard sale. Now I just need to snag some plutonium or either convert it to a Mr. FUSION,

      Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jul 21, 2015 @ 18:20:23

      I’ve taken special trains through Alaska and converted steam engines with period decor and menu. And long ago, in a galaxy far far away, the lover of the time and I took the Orient Express from Paris t Istanbul and flew from there to Tokyo. Commuter trains today are just an annoyance and make me itch. I’d rather just drive.

      Reply

      • X
        Jul 22, 2015 @ 22:07:13

        No way, the orient express would be amazing.

        Reply

        • kanzensakura
          Jul 22, 2015 @ 22:20:56

          It was. The farther east we went, the more exotic the people became. Squeeze insisted on first class because this was so special, but we often went to the “steerage” part of the passenger areas to people watch, learn, pet goats, purchase some bread and cheese of local make or fruit. We paid plenty to make sure they could replenish their travel food at stops along the way. Listen to music, stories, mostly in pantomime or roughly translated. I still have a blue bead bracelet to protect me from the evil eye given by a handsome Turkish man because I reminded him of his daughter. We stayed in Istanbul a few days – visited the Hagia Sofia, the ancient library, learned of the Janussaries, drank sweet rich coffee out of glasses and endless meals of lemon broiled lamb, cucumbers in yogurt, dark dense bread and soft sharp cheese. And then to end at my squeeze’s home in Hakone Japan. Oh to be in love and travel wild.
          Date: Thu, 23 Jul 2015 02:07:15 +0000
          To: thspencer51@hotmail.com

          Reply

        • kanzensakura
          Jul 22, 2015 @ 22:24:39

          It was, but modern trains annoy me and the travellers even more so. This past spring going to DC for Sakura Matsuri, half the travellers walked back and forth the whole distance. I wanted to jerk a jnot in most of them.

          Reply

  2. sheridegrom - From the literary and legislative trenches.
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 17:41:29

    Nice. So peaceful.

    Reply

  3. Victoria C. Slotto
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 17:44:09

    Toni, I really like where you took this–dreaming of going back in time to a special place. I do like the Tanka as a form, too…a lot.

    Reply

  4. billgncs
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 17:46:57

    The melody the train’s song lingers
    mournful against against dawn’s awakening

    Reply

  5. Grace
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 18:08:32

    Love the nostalgia in the tanka ~ Hate it though when summer is so humid ~

    Reply

  6. charliezero1.wordpress.com
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 18:15:14

    I’m feeling the summer humid myself here in L.A.

    Love your poem. Greatly written piece. 🙂

    Reply

  7. macjam47
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 18:58:39

    Beautiful! I can hear that train, and dream of where it could take me.

    Reply

  8. Sanaa Rizvi
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 19:10:05

    Intriguing! Pray what form is it? 😀
    Beautifully executed 🙂

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jul 21, 2015 @ 19:16:34

      Thank you. The poetic form is tanka…a Japanese form…basically and most simply a haiku with two 7 syllable lines to “complete” it. Look the form up on google for a more extended description and rules for the form. It is my second favorite form. First favorite is traditional Japanese haiku. And I just adore how you use Sunny as your name. That makes me smile every time.

      Reply

  9. Glenn Buttkus
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 21:12:57

    I’m having a poetic love affair with the Haibun, infusing haiku, tanka, American sentences & lunes onto clumps of prose. Kind of becoming my thing, also linked to wild lines that leap & stray all about the page; much like my mind.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jul 21, 2015 @ 21:33:01

      I hope you enjoy this form of writing. I truly enjoy it myself but keep it more traditional by only adding traditional haiku and not american tercets or 5-7-5 to it. I’ll save my wildness for free verse, and alas! Even then I am a bit restrained….except when I write of my passionate love, summer tomatoes. I despair of ever writing a proper tanka, but continue with the form, rules by my side. One day….and then I will go and pull everyone that says tanka and rewrite or destroy. Or just keep the one and be satisfied.

      Reply

  10. Mary
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 21:50:13

    Oh wouldn’t it be nice if we could jump on board a train to somewhere we had been in the past? And enjoy it again just one more time? You have me feeling nostalgic.

    Reply

  11. C.C.
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 23:01:59

    How wonderful this would be, if we could hop this time-travelling train and go to a time of long ago!

    Reply

  12. claudia
    Jul 21, 2015 @ 23:44:19

    can feel the yearning… sometimes i would love to go back to the train rides of my childhood… such adventures…

    Reply

  13. MarinaSofia
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 02:12:57

    Exactly that – I remember those hot humid nights, having to sleep in a wet bedsheet, windows wide open, hearing the mournful wail of the train whistes and dreaming of far off places. And my description has just gone on for longer than your tanka. You are the mistress of choosing the precise word and just the right amount of description to build the image in your reader’s mind.

    Reply

  14. katiemiafrederick
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 02:41:06

    The slow lament
    in whistle of train
    knows only past
    and that is sad..:)

    Reply

  15. lupitatucker
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 10:19:56

    I love this. I can feel it and hear it, and empathize as well with the closing sentiment. Trains are hopeful thing, so tangible and full of adventure.

    Reply

  16. Myrna
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 14:47:02

    Yes trains evoke a little mystery and a sort of yearning to be going somewhere. Your poem captures those feelings.

    Reply

  17. Sabio Lantz
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 16:53:29

    Fun how sounds can transport us

    Reply

  18. Desmond, Anthony (@iamEPanthony)
    Jul 22, 2015 @ 22:36:56

    Those sounds almost make you wanna float away and see just where that train is headed… smiles

    Reply

  19. kaykuala h
    Jul 23, 2015 @ 09:38:19

    Those were memorable days very much a similar feeling is felt when traveling by train! Nicely Hayes!

    http://imagery77.blogspot.com/2015/07/people-movers-in-many-places.html

    Hank

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jul 23, 2015 @ 10:21:17

      Thank you. My first name is Toni. Hayes Spencer is just a Google sign on. Train and plane travel did indeed used to be an event, now it is just hurry scurry and makes me itch 🙂

      Reply

  20. Francina
    Jul 23, 2015 @ 10:44:13

    beautiful poem.!

    Reply

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