Open Link Night: 浮動葉 Fudō ha – Floating Leaves

public domain free image

public domain free image

Today at d’verse, we have Open Link Night – anyone is welcome to link to their poem on any subject or in any form. I have gone through old notebooks and am reviving my interest in the Japanese poetic form: dodoitsuan unrhyming poetic form of 26 sound units – 5-7-7-7. Please come join us! Leave a link to your poem or read the links from talented and varied poets.

浮動葉  Fudō ha
sleepy woodland pool –
leaves drift on water dreaming
of summer sun – snow will fall
and they will sleep without dreams.

57 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. MarinaSofia
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 01:46:58

    I’m going to Japan next week – sadly, only for a few days and with not much time for autumn walks, but this brings to mind the beautiful autumnal colours of Hokkaido…

    Reply

  2. smilecalm
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 02:57:11

    without dreams
    is good night’s
    sleep 🙂

    Reply

  3. Mary
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 07:28:23

    I enjoy the image of the leaves drifting on water dreaming of summer sun. It invokes autumn to me, and I imagine the leaves to be red and orange and yellow & the water to be shimmering!

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 09:44:15

      I took a photo of the leaves on the pool in our woods but could not find it The sun was so very bright and the leaves were a mix of red maple and golden hickory and gingko. I had to resort to this public domain image which irked me. It was a most placid hour spent there. The woods were so peaceful.

      Reply

  4. X
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 10:09:16

    OK, my tranlator tool is doing nothing for Fudō ha, so I may be missing something in that first line. This has a very zen feel to me. Obviously the connection to the nature of nature. The contrast of the seasons. The freedom to float/move/dream now, but winter will soon freeze everything. Seasons change. Each can be appreciated in its own way.

    Reply

    • X
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 10:10:52

      Duh. I guess the answer is in the title.
      Sorry, need more coffee.

      Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 10:18:36

      Right.on.the.button. very zen, mono no aware and mujo. We might even throw in some wabi sabi. I keep mulling this for my next Poetics but don’t want to seem snooty or intimidating. I can’t find my original photo of the leaves floating on water. fudo ha are leaves on water and not floating in/through the air. And after all, these are just plain hickory and maple leaves on the small creek pool in our quiet woods, not fancy leaves. But they did dream as they went through their changes.

      Reply

  5. Hannah Gosselin
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 10:29:29

    Oh!! A form I have not tried…that’s exciting! I’ve been into tanka for awhile but it’s always nice to try something new. Thank you, for introducing it and for sharing your poignant image of change…very visual. 🙂

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 10:30:20

      This is a gorging

      Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 10:35:56

      This is a forgiving form. Usually about work or love and humorous/sarcastic. But…doesn’t have to be. Yay!!!! I have been looking at a 20 year old notebook and pulling out some things and cleaning off. I really love tanka. This one is similar and can be fun, sensual, bittersweet….you would do wonderful dodoitsu.

      Reply

      • Hannah Gosselin
        Sep 03, 2015 @ 10:40:17

        Thank you, for the added background and confidence…I’m looking forward to trying this! 🙂

        Reply

      • Hannah Gosselin
        Sep 05, 2015 @ 18:53:06

        I came across one written by a poet from our community…and they have it as 7-7-7-5 and so that caused me to check wiki and they, too have the syllable count as this…is this right or can the dodoitsu be reversed…I’ve journaled a few with the 5-7-7-7 count and they won’t work the same the other way around…just for conversation sake…I figured I’d check in with you. 🙂

        Reply

        • kanzensakura
          Sep 05, 2015 @ 19:33:41

          I went with Japanese sources rather than American. But I learned this form years ago. Wiki isn’t always reliable but I think it is safe to go with it rather than my notebook of years ago. It’s easy enuff for me to amend my poems. I thank you for telling me about this. One never gets too old to learn or change.

          Reply

          • Hannah Gosselin
            Sep 05, 2015 @ 20:55:13

            I wasn’t sure as I’ve heard the same about wiki before, too so I figured I’d mention it but I think either way it’s still really a neat form…I enjoyed it and it turned out that switching the first line into the last line position wasn’t a problem and in a couple of cases actually enhanced the poem. I’m grateful for you and your notebook and your passion for poetry. 🙂 Thank you!

            Reply

            • kanzensakura
              Sep 06, 2015 @ 14:28:31

              I am glad to hear that about the last line. I had wondered but since you have done the switching, I am more than happy to trust you on this. Thank you for correcting me on this. I feel like a doofus for sure but it challenges me to check myself, especially on things done in the past, especially in times 2when my perecption was during a time of “enhancement”…i believe a few years ago, wiki came 4undersome fire for inaccuracies and so they became more vigilant about entries done by amateurs like me. And I have certainly learned a good lesson about checking on myself. I think those of us who are truly passionate about our work are open to learning, and especially when done in a kind and respectful manner.

              Reply

              • Hannah Gosselin
                Sep 06, 2015 @ 19:37:39

                Absolutely…I feel the same way about learning and I never want to second guess anyone I always just want to find out for knowing sake…don’t feel like a doofus I’m glad we got a chance to talk about it and learn together…I never would have even known the form if it weren’t for you…I’m grateful! 🙂

                Reply

  6. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 14:40:22

    This is so gentle.. it places me right into the meditative mood of that woodland pool. To do it humoristic or sarcastic would be fun.. but i still like that wonderful feeling of being there.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 16:47:45

      It is fun to do the form humorous or satirical. I have a couple I am dusting off. It is a super form for the sensual as well….can really throw a punch. I like being calm when I write as it is many times a meditation for me.

      Reply

  7. Grace
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 15:03:37

    How exciting to learn these forms from you Toni ~ One time I have to try them ~ Admiring the leaves drifting dreaming of summer sun ~

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 16:49:32

      Please do try it. I can imagine what a thing of beauty you would turn the form into. And it was wonderful to sitting there, silent, drifting with the leaves.

      Reply

  8. Sanaa Rizvi
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 15:15:16

    This is such a beautiful piece 🙂

    Reply

  9. Glenn Buttkus
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 15:22:11

    A new Japanese form, & dynamite poem; thanks. If I awaken ice cold & upright, heart thumping, & there is no tagline from a dream, I feel cheated, as if Mr. REM has forsaken me.

    Reply

  10. hypercryptical
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 15:58:00

    How wonderful to think the leaves dreaming of summer and as winter passes, they shall return to the earth…

    Kind regards
    Anna :o]

    Reply

  11. Raivenne
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 15:58:02

    I like this form, I’m going to have to give it a try someday soon. Your write line is calming and yet the cold finality of that last line really sinks in. Beautifully done.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 16:54:07

      Thank you. It is a wonderful and can be humorous, sarcastic, sensual – I can imagine such a write from you 🙂 simply 5-7-7-7…usually about work or love, humorous or sarcastic, but not set in stone. Forgiving form, it is.

      Reply

  12. othermary
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 18:32:18

    This is a lovely, sad meditation.

    Reply

  13. tamekamullins
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 18:36:05

    Japanese poetry is so lovely. As you have demonstrated here, much can be said with so few words. I can see this as a full story. I’d like to know what happens next. 🙂

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 20:19:05

      Rest of the story, just for you. I sat there for over an hour being still. Went back several months later and the leaves were frozen in ice and under snow. By early summer, the leaves had washed farther down the creek or had sunk to the bottom of the pool, becoming one with the earth. But last week, some new leaves had fallen. The cycle continues.

      Reply

  14. skyraftwanderer
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 18:39:01

    beautiful writing

    Reply

  15. lupitatucker
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 20:01:48

    It is a gentle image. I like the extra sound units in this form. The image of winter, sleeping but not dreaming, is one that lingers in my imagination.

    Reply

  16. Ayala
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 20:12:36

    Beautiful!

    Reply

  17. thotpurge
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 21:35:38

    ah I would like to try this form sometime, it has a little more room than haiku for expression!

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 03, 2015 @ 22:22:03

      It is a forgiving form. I have gone into a notebook from 20 years ago pulling out some things from it. I am reviving my love for this form which opens itself to so many interpretations. Traditional haiku is my favorite form but sometimes, it is good to have something to play with and stretch out in.

      Reply

  18. kelly
    Sep 03, 2015 @ 23:19:21

    This has such a calm sense of acceptance, I really love it.

    Reply

  19. Madeleine Begun Kane
    Sep 04, 2015 @ 02:02:20

    I’m not familiar with that form.
    Lovely!

    Reply

  20. katiemiafrederick
    Sep 04, 2015 @ 12:16:42

    Destination Loving Life..:)

    Reply

  21. Mama Zen
    Sep 04, 2015 @ 14:18:15

    Lovely work!

    Reply

  22. Victoria C. Slotto
    Sep 04, 2015 @ 14:44:10

    Toni, you reign when it comes to saying much in few words. This is enchanting, peaceful with a tinge of melancholy.

    Reply

  23. Bryan Ens
    Sep 04, 2015 @ 17:01:06

    cool form. I really like the contrast between dreaming, and then sleeping without dreams.

    Reply

  24. M
    Sep 04, 2015 @ 22:58:27

    gorgeous – each note elegant, every image crisp ~

    Reply

  25. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
    Sep 05, 2015 @ 00:46:39

    It is intriguing how the moment we slip into a Japanese poetic form, the mood becomes reflective, and the words soothe. We all seem to be girding our loins for the onset of winter…..

    Reply

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