A Long Time Ago in a Walmart Far, Far, away…

Today on dVerse Poetics, Grace has introduced us to Canadian Poet David McFadden. He is the “darling of the avant-garde” and yet, is readable and at home with supernatural events, meaning, he finds something extraordinary in every day ordinary events – like psychic bus stops. Grace wants us to write about things outside the ordinary of our daily life but still part of our ordinary life – like waiting for a bus. I hope you all will come visit us and read about this incredible and unstuffy, unpretentious poet (see, we DO exist!). Below is my submission which personally, I think is kind of fun and really really happened just last week…http://dversepoets.com/2015/12/01/poetics-secrets-of-the-universe/

free public domain image

free public domain image


A Long Time Ago in a Walmart Far, Far, away…
Christmas was coming.
My husband said, I want an Amazon gift card
And a light saber. He gave me both last year.
Technology has come far.   For the paltry sum of $34.99 he gave me
the Luke Skywalker light saber sold at Walmart.
When turned on the saber turned a bright blue and
Went – whoosh – from the bottom to the top and
made the wonderful whumming sound and when banged against
something went crackclang just like in the movies.
When cut off, the blue whooshed down to the bottom
– Just like the REAL light sabers.
However, I was not able to slice through objects
or persons…bah.

Christmas was coming.
I fortified myself for going into the shopping universe
by playing Halo for a bit, and doing a load of laundry,
And loading the dishwasher…

At THE toy aisle of the Death Star
I found what I wanted.
I heard it a few aisles before I arrived.
The telltale whoosh, whummmmm, clang, whooshwhoosh….

Thin, blonde…10 years old swinging the light saber as if his life depended on it.
Closer, I grabbed it with my hand stopping him in mid-swing.
…It is good Padawan I have my life shimmer activated or you
Would have cut off my fingers.
He looked me almost in the eye and blinked – slowly.
…I asked him how long had he been training?
This time he grinned.
I took a another saber from the shelf, turned it on
And going into “the stance” told him most solemnly
how to better hold it, and gave a slow swing and graceful pivot.
With huge eyes, he imitated.
A few more swings and he chirps,  Jedi Knight, will you show me more?
And I did.
His harried mother came up and stopped – her son being taught a fighting form
by a too short woman with long white braid.
She watched as the woman swung the saber over her head
and then gently disarmed the young boy and bowed to him.
He saw his mother and became awkward.
…Young Padawan, you have the making of a most
Audacious and dangerous Jedi.
Practice hard and listen to your parents
And study hard. The Rebel forces need such as you
when you have completed your training.

We bowed to each other and he scampered off
babbling at a thousand parsecs per second.
I took the light saber he had carefully placed back on the shelf.
I had found the perfect one for my husband.
I would let him know he had much work to do to catch up
to the young Padawan.

47 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bryan Ens
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 15:38:44

    fun indeed! I would have loved to have seen the expression on that mother’s face when she found her son sparring with a stranger 🙂


  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 15:41:01

    What a delightful tale.. I know that you know how to wield a sword.. so I just wonder if you like Jedi talk can. Impress the young Padewan muchly it would do.


  3. Glenn Buttkus
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 15:53:21

    What fun, & a perfect compliment to the prompt, You had mentioned in the past, or within one of your poems, that you work out with a kendo sword (how dare they call them sticks). I will be smiling all day after stopping by here; thanks.


    • kanzensakura
      Dec 01, 2015 @ 16:15:37

      I am glad. Actually, they use shinai, bamboo pieces fitted together that hurt like hell when hit with one. I use a wakizashi because I am too short for katana. If I had a partner, I would use shinai otherwise, we’d have pieces missing….but then a few pounds missing might be okay. At the dojo when I do go, we are all padded up and with face masks – otherwise serious injury – no holds barred.. I prefer practicing my forms, solitary, for the meditation of it. I am so glad you enjoyed this. It was a ray of light during a time of dark. I don’t really know much about children. But I hit it lucky with this young man.


  4. writersdream9
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 16:05:26

    An absolutely wonderful read! I enjoyed the play between the adult and child! 🙂


  5. Victoria C. Slotto
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 16:37:16

    Oh how I wish I had been a customer sneaking a peek at the end of the aisle to an amazing performance. Most likely, I am the only person in the universe who is not familiar with Star Wars. Sad, isn’t it? I guess it’s time for me to catch up – I did miss a lot of pop culture during my during my previous “career!”😏 I enjoyed this so much. I posted an entry related to Walmart shopping on my other blog. Not my favorite thing to do in the best of circumstances.


    • kanzensakura
      Dec 01, 2015 @ 17:18:09

      It is wonderful world of fantasy and good vs. Evil and, almost a different telling of Cinderella. Not to mention a handsome young Harrison Ford. a long time friend have an ongoing competition as to who has seen the “original” the most times. We decided to stop counting when we hit 275. Rent the dvd sometime or grab from your library and give it a go. It is total fantasy and fluff and wonderful. There are several installments that advance the story and mythology. And obiviously, we kids enjoy it. 🙂


  6. Sanaa Rizvi
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 17:06:52

    This made me grin hugely 😀 a most delightful read Toni 🙂

    Lots of love,


  7. Grace
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 17:25:24

    I can imagine the scene in the toy section of Walmart…how delightful to be teaching the young boy how to pivot gracefully with saber lights ~ And I also like how you inserted such words of wisdom for the boy ~

    Love it dear, including the Jedi inspired title ~ Wishing you a happy week ~


    • kanzensakura
      Dec 01, 2015 @ 17:29:19

      Than you Grace. It is a fun and timely prompt for indeed, this time of year with all the stories and imaginings is like another world. I enjoyed this greatly. And stay warm! 🙂


  8. Let's CUT the Crap!
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 18:22:20

    This IS FUN. The pictures run like a movie reel in my head. I wonder who was taller, the short lady or the boy. 😀 ❤


  9. ghostmmnc
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 19:25:06

    Such a cool poem! 🙂


  10. Mary
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 19:40:47

    Oh, I have no doubt YOU would be one who would know how to use the light saber. Smiles. I bet the 10-year-old was amazed by your expertise.


  11. Pleasant Street
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 19:56:02

    So much fun! I love this and I shared this


  12. lynn__
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 21:21:37

    Sounds like you have a lot of fun at Walmart, Toni 😀


  13. Bodhirose
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 22:07:53

    Ha! I’ve never come near to having that kind of an encounter at Walmart…how cool to engage a young boy in some fantasy play.


    • kanzensakura
      Dec 01, 2015 @ 23:14:04

      I don’t know much about children having never been around them much. I treat them like adults and how I was treated. The few times I interact, we seem to have fun. It took me awhile to work up going though. 🙂


  14. thotpurge
    Dec 01, 2015 @ 23:38:32

    A great story!!


  15. MarinaSofia
    Dec 02, 2015 @ 01:53:14

    Ha, I’m sure that young Padawan loved you! (Not so sure about his mother, though.) What an excellent tale – and the title is out of this world. I also love the fact that you needed to fortify yourself before setting out for the shopping – that’s how I feel throughout November and December.
    May the Force be with you!


  16. georgeplace2013
    Dec 02, 2015 @ 09:55:52

    LOVE this. If that had happened to one of my grandsons they would still be talking about it. You are AWESOME.


  17. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
    Dec 02, 2015 @ 11:03:22

    A stunning story. I do hope it’s really really true. One up for the cheveux blancs amongst us.


  18. Sarah
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 04:09:56

    You are just awesome. You probably made a memory in that boy’s head that will last a lifetime. ❤


  19. navasolanature
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 07:09:08

    This is a wonderful way to go Christmas shopping. What an encounter. It makes an amusing but beautifully told narrative poem.


  20. Misky
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 07:28:38

    So much fun in this!


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