Daffodil Lips – synesthesia

Today at d’Verse Poets Pub, Victoria is our pubtender. She is doing an encore presentation of synesthesia
a neurological condition where people taste colors or see colors when hearing music or a color translates to a sound – basically, they hear, taste, and feel a color. An interesting condition! We are writing and linking synesthesia poems today. Come by to hear, taste, feel, and read this poetry. I think you may come away with different perceptions!  http://dversepoets.com/2015/12/03/yum-that-poem-tastes-like-a-fine-cabernet-dverse-mtb-synesthesia/

public domain photo

Daffodil Lips
once when I was a child I pulled green blades
of a daffodil still wet with rain. I wanted to see how
it tasted. I placed the green blade
between my lips – slowly pulling using
my tongue to feel the sharp edge and the soft green
and the cold wetness of it.
and years later after kendo
we stood in the rain
and you kissed me. Daffodil lips
you had and I drank in their cool
wetness and my tongue probed the sharp
edges of your teeth and the slightly
bitter taste of your lips – cherry blossom
fingers traced my cheek fluttering
falling to land on my left breast
and stay there – light and clinging
our love was spring first before
it became the sound of a distant crow
echoing across the cold dry field
of goodbye.

34 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bryan Ens
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 14:36:18

    That line about the crow gave this whole thing the feel of an extended haiku (senryu?) in the dramatic change of scenery. Nicely done!

    Reply

  2. Grace
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 15:24:33

    Love the title and the soft sensuality of kiss like taste of daffodil wet with rain ~ Also love this part:

    our love was spring first before
    it became the sound of a distant crow

    Reply

  3. Glenn Buttkus
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 15:28:22

    Victoria is bang on, working with this technique seems to create masterful poetics; case in point this poem. It is delicious, romantic, balladic, Oriental to its core, & yes, you knocked the prompt our of the pub. I love your lines /fingers traced my cheek fluttering/falling to land on my left breast/& stay there/. Perhaps this is a precursor to another poem hatching, entitled MY LEFT BREAST; smile.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Dec 03, 2015 @ 15:31:07

      Well, the right one succumbed to a clumsy stroke of a razor sharp sword, LOL Somehow, now matter how hard I try, those Japanese poetics sneak in and steal the poem right out from under me.

      Reply

  4. Victoria C. Slotto
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 15:46:41

    Toni, this is just breathtaking. Wish I could go out and taste a daffodil but all I have is bulbs in frozen ground. I do remember making a retreat with a Zen-like priest who invited us to use all our senses to experience nature…and so I did. I can still taste rocks.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Dec 03, 2015 @ 15:58:59

      Be was one wild daffodil.. 🙂 I still know how plum blossoms taste as well. I’m surprised I haven’t been poisoned with all that has been put into my mouth, like a crawling baby devouring everything in my path that it’s mother wasn’t able to grab first. Our next door neighbor, my mentor since I was six was always saying, devour, taste life. I did my best!

      Reply

  5. Adriana Citlali Ramírez
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 15:52:29

    Very nice portray of sensuality. I like all what you evoke with the title and image of daffodil lips.

    Reply

  6. Mary
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 15:57:24

    Ah, that was one beautifully sensual kiss you described, Toni. There is something remarkably beautiful about the ‘spring’ of love, isn’t there? But sad about it becoming ‘the sound of a distant crow……’ You really rocked the metaphors you used in this poem!

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Dec 03, 2015 @ 16:11:15

      Thank you Mary. I wasn’t sure about this one. I’m always so restrained but I’ve trained for years to be that way. I need to work on howling some in my poems!

      Reply

  7. seaangel4444
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 16:37:54

    I find this one of the most fascinating things ever! I have read a bit about synesthesia, and truly it is an incredible way to view the world!! Cher xo

    Reply

  8. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 16:42:49

    Oh those crows, you have used that turn so skillfully. From the tinge of daffodil to emptiness, from spring to autumn.. so well described in loss. Just wonderful…

    Reply

  9. K. A. Bryce
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 16:46:33

    I liked the way you set this up with your opening imagery and action. It really made the ‘kiss’ very real for me. Though sad, I thought the ending well done. Smiles…>KB

    Reply

  10. Sanaa Rizvi
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 18:18:21

    Absolutely adore this 🙂 especially the part about “cherry blossom
    fingers traced my cheek..” such a tender image 🙂

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

    Reply

  11. Bodhirose
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 20:16:23

    So romantic and sensual, and your parting was so well defined by that crow in the distance beyond the cold, dried field. Was he the one that you’ve written about before who returned to Japan? Sad…

    Reply

  12. voiceless2010
    Dec 03, 2015 @ 22:47:51

    Slam dunk on the dVerse prompt, and an absolutely beautiful poem. Love it.

    Reply

  13. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
    Dec 04, 2015 @ 10:38:10

    Enchanting love story until the last three lines. Wham. disillusion and regret.
    so beautifully written.

    Reply

  14. writersdream9
    Dec 04, 2015 @ 12:59:25

    Intense joy; intense sadness and loss! Perfect!

    Reply

  15. lynn__
    Dec 04, 2015 @ 13:13:28

    Just to imagine daffodil lips is sensuous but crows never bode well, it seems.

    Reply

  16. Shawna
    Dec 04, 2015 @ 14:57:30

    Love this:
    “Daffodil lips
    you had and I drank in their cool
    wetness and my tongue probed the sharp
    edges of your teeth”

    … and the ending.

    Reply

  17. Kathy Reed
    Dec 05, 2015 @ 10:16:13

    That distant cow seems to be an omen…for a relationship ending, as it happened to me…you absolutely did the prompt proud..tender and a bit rough at the same time.

    Reply

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