Quadrille #6

Today at dVerse Pub is Quadrille Monday. We are to write a poem of exactly 44 words, not including the title from the prompt word Grace gave us today: “twist”.  Come visit us today.  The poems are short but can be intense.  Come visit and read!  https://dversepoets.com/2016/04/18/quadrille-7/

Reality Served Shaken

At the Life Bar
Perched on a high stool
staring into the mirror
behind the bar,
I can’t see me at all.
All I can see is my mother
disappearing into the
Dementia Mists – I didn’t order but was
served bitters with a twist.

28 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Victoria C. Slotto
    Apr 18, 2016 @ 23:32:20

    Oh, dang. But what a great way to end it. It’s so hard, isn’t it?

    Reply

  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 00:48:53

    That last line really wraps it up.. Like lemons given without the lemonade.

    Reply

  3. Sumana Roy
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 03:08:41

    Life Bar does sometimes serve bitters…so sad…

    Reply

  4. kim881
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 03:51:59

    All of the above – love it!

    Reply

  5. Laura Bloomsbury
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 04:54:01

    wrung feeling in every one of these words with that twist at the end

    Reply

  6. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 07:15:01

    Oh dear, it stops me up short – like that reality you were confronting.

    Reply

  7. Grace
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 08:23:49

    Dementia Twists – this is sharp, and indeed the taste is bitterly twisty ~ Intense writing Toni ~

    Reply

  8. abarn003
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 08:50:55

    Brilliant. The twists and turns of life, sometimes expected, sometimes not, often mirroring those who came before us. Nicely done and very inspiring.

    Reply

  9. She
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 08:55:25

    The last four lines are tight!

    Reply

  10. whimsygizmo
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 09:43:00

    Oh, Toni. That ending is stunning. And so, so sad. I can only imagine how difficult it is. Hugs and prayers. And something sweeter on the rocks: a margarita, perhaps? Or a Malibu Sunrise.

    Reply

  11. Raivenne
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 10:13:42

    Oh man, the twist of those last two line – hits hard.

    Reply

  12. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 11:18:41

    A wonderful piece of writing: a succinct gem.

    Reply

  13. lillian
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 12:57:29

    Oh my. I didn’t order — but was served bitters with a twist. A wonderful 44 word piece that nails what demential does to self, family and friends. The mirror that is no longer a mirror…..

    Reply

  14. Patti
    Apr 19, 2016 @ 14:45:48

    This is so good. I could feel it.

    Reply

  15. Bodhirose
    Apr 20, 2016 @ 00:45:36

    Some twists in here that I know you didn’t count on…so sorry for that.

    Reply

  16. petrujviljoen
    Apr 20, 2016 @ 04:42:56

    Very, very well written! Take my hat off to this one.

    Reply

  17. Arcadia Maria
    Apr 20, 2016 @ 19:51:28

    Great poem.

    Reply

  18. mishunderstood
    Apr 25, 2016 @ 03:08:35

    I appreciate the emotion and openness that you poured into this. I can feel the heartache in your words, but also the love for your mother. The result is very effective poetry. Hugs to both of you.

    ~Mish~

    Reply

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