dVerse OLN 172 – spring stars – haru no hoshi

For dVerse Poets Pub #172. Poets submit one poem of their choice for this. All kinds of poems will be linked by talented poets. Come find your new favorite poet. My poem, a daring (for me) break of Japanese poetic form – a tanka and haiku together. Come join us at: http://dversepoets.com/2016/05/12/open-link-night-171/

haru no hoshi
spring night sky – wet stars
falling silent as dust. lights
dim out one by one
glowing moon breathes – blackberry
blooms are born – earthbound stars.

blackberry blooms in
dark night – dreams of summer wine
entice sleeping birds

 

copyright kanzensakura

copyright kanzensakura

32 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. therisa
    May 12, 2016 @ 16:46:13

    So love blackberries, one of my favourite berries, to eat wild. Both your tanka and haiku grace these berries. Can wait, until I can start eating them, from local sources, and not distance producers, in Latin America.

    Reply

  2. Sanaa Rizvi
    May 12, 2016 @ 17:31:46

    Simply breathtaking… ❤ ❤

    Reply

  3. charliezero1.wordpress.com
    May 12, 2016 @ 18:04:59

    Holy! wow! okay these lines got me:

    glowing moon breathes – blackberry
    blooms are born – earthbound stars.

    Glowing moon breathes? Man, where did that line come from? Genius!

    I picture this poem as visual and so artistic. 🙂 Beautiful my friend. 🙂

    Reply

  4. Glenn Buttkus
    May 12, 2016 @ 18:09:44

    In my part of the world, blackberries, though tasty, are very thorny & hearty; hard to get rid of them once they encroach on some edge of the yard. For some reason I liked the haiku better, though both were marvelous.

    Reply

  5. SilverGardenia
    May 12, 2016 @ 18:45:03

    What a beautiful scene you paint!

    Reply

  6. Charley
    May 12, 2016 @ 20:09:57

    dreams of summer wine
    entice sleeping birds

    Beautifully crafted line to end the picture. Bravo!

    Reply

  7. Linda Kruschke
    May 12, 2016 @ 20:18:10

    So very peaceful.

    Reply

  8. Grace
    May 12, 2016 @ 20:47:07

    Earthbound stars, a stunning write Toni ~ Love spring night sky ~

    Reply

  9. Let's CUT the Crap!
    May 12, 2016 @ 21:13:17

    Wow. Haven’t read you in ages Kanzen. This is brilliant. My heart soars. You had me at, ‘wet stars’ Magnificent. ❤ ❤ ❤
    Worn out, coming back, but in increments. o_O

    Reply

  10. whimsygizmo
    May 12, 2016 @ 22:17:02

    Delicious. Simply delicious.

    Reply

  11. Bodhirose
    May 12, 2016 @ 23:27:14

    Love the “earthbound stars”…and your exquisite haiku, Toni.

    Reply

  12. http://vivinfrance.wordpress.com
    May 13, 2016 @ 02:20:46

    A lovely theme. Blackberries cheer me as Autumn approaches: shelves full of summer in winter.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      May 15, 2016 @ 15:50:54

      Yes indeed. Our blackberries come about mid-July. I can and freeze a mix of the wild and domesticated along with making jelly of them and desserts while they are still fresh. Sassy fruit, they are!

      Reply

  13. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    May 13, 2016 @ 04:35:11

    I do love this.. and blackberries are one of my favorite berries to eat… Earthbound stars I so love that.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      May 15, 2016 @ 15:49:42

      I have a fixation with earthbound stars. I love blackberries as well. We have quite a few farms that grow domesticated ones – bigger and sweeter. I like to mix the wild and the domesticated ones together to eat or make jelly of or cook with.

      Reply

  14. petrujviljoen
    May 13, 2016 @ 12:24:02

    loved the repetition of ‘blackberry blooms’ from the tanka to the haiku, tying the two forms together. Thought of music.

    Reply

  15. PSC
    May 13, 2016 @ 18:52:30

    They DO look like earthbound stars — your beautiful photo proves it. Lovely!

    Reply

  16. lillian
    May 14, 2016 @ 08:58:15

    Oh Toni…..I can always count on your beautiful words! So gentle, so peaceful, blackberry wine and start that shower us. Just doing my reading today….and think now I must take a break to savor your words and the gentle feeling that always comes within.

    Reply

  17. Imelda
    May 14, 2016 @ 14:14:57

    Very nice!

    Reply

  18. Mish
    May 14, 2016 @ 14:19:08

    The alliterations are lovely…and I am now dreaming of blackberry wine…mmm.
    I enjoyed the haiku and tanka together.

    Reply

  19. Magaly Guerrero
    May 15, 2016 @ 16:31:06

    Soothing and smooth. Good enough to sip at twilight, while dreaming sweet tomorrows. Just delicious.

    Reply

  20. Nan Mykel
    May 15, 2016 @ 17:02:48

    Wet stars…blackberry blooms …so sensual…

    Reply

  21. Barry D.
    May 15, 2016 @ 20:49:47

    This poem is so sensual, so vivid that I can smell the fragrances when I close my eyes. Wonderful.

    Reply

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