dVerse Poets Pub – Meeting the Bar – Tanka

Today at dVerse, I am the prompter for writing to a form. I have chosen the deceptively simple form of tanka. One of the oldest of the Japanese forms, it is centuries old. To find out more about tanka and how to write them, come visit and come read! Short form, not much reading to do! https://dversepoets.com/2016/08/18/meeting-the-bar-form-tanka/

December night sky
snow like frozen stars silent
as dust falls to earth –
no wishes on these lost stars
summer photo fades with time

32 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bryan Ens
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 12:13:05

    love that last line! There is a wistfulness to your whole piece, and that is only emphasized by those fading photographs.

    Reply

  2. Grace
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 12:48:04

    A deep sadness on the lost stars and fading summer photo!

    Reply

  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 15:39:08

    Yes that last line provides a totally different image… could be a jisei actually…

    Reply

  4. Dr. Crystal Howe
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 15:47:37

    This sounds familiar – as an experience. Thank you and thanks for hosting!

    Reply

  5. Candy
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 16:35:44

    such longing for lost summer

    Reply

  6. Sanaa Rizvi (@rizvi_sanaa)
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 16:46:55

    Oh this is absolutely gorgeous ❤ sigh.. the longing for lost summer and wishes upon the stars..! Beautifully penned.

    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

    Reply

  7. kim881
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 16:55:13

    Toni, this is a wonderful illustration of how to write a tanka.:I can see the two distinct parts and the kireji, which all fit together in a perfect whole. I agree with the comments about wistfulness. But where do those lost stars go?

    Reply

  8. mother wintermoon
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 17:55:02

    Poignant and lovely, filled with wistfulness and longing.

    Reply

  9. Josslyn Rae Turner
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 18:24:30

    Short comment: Beautiful! ❤

    Reply

  10. Truedessa
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 19:20:13

    There is a deep sadness that winter skies can bring, as summer fades

    Reply

  11. Arcadia Maria
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 20:45:10

    Lovely

    Reply

  12. Raivenne
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 21:43:30

    The summer photo fade is bittersweet as I am actually looking forward to autumn, My falling star wish is to cool off! Seriously, though this beautiful and so poignant as these canicular days come to a close.

    Reply

  13. Bodhirose
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 23:47:12

    Such a sadness as summer fades and is still thought about in December’s iciness. There’s not even the will to wish upon a star…I can feel the leaden heart.

    Reply

  14. Imelda
    Aug 18, 2016 @ 23:48:46

    Gorgeous images. They evoked a kind of sadness in me – falling snow, lost stars, fading photos.

    Reply

  15. Laura Bloomsbury
    Aug 19, 2016 @ 11:33:47

    so much depth to your tanka – like steady snow fall – and then the stark and surpise of a contrast with faded summer photos
    p.s. thank you for the prompt and the way you explained how to write a tanka

    Reply

  16. ladynyo
    Aug 19, 2016 @ 20:45:43

    To me, this is a death poem…..a jisei. The longing, the sadness, the last line fits in a quirky way, which is very much tanka. Enjoyed this.

    Reply

  17. kaykuala (@hankkaykuala)
    Aug 20, 2016 @ 02:01:05

    no wishes on these lost stars
    summer photo fades with time

    There seems a loss of expectations with the passing of summer. Yes, Toni, one gets the feeling!

    Hank

    Reply

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