dVerse MTB: Meeting the Bar as a Cubist Poet

Today Bjorn is the prompter at dVerse. He wants us to write in the style of Wallace Stevens and his poem, 13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird. We are exploring cubism in poetry. Come visit us and find your new favorite poet! I found this prompt so interesting and engaging, I have come off hiatus to respond to it.  Meeting the bar as a cubist poet.

Ways of Looking at Autumn Leaves
l.
autumn leaves float
on the surface of the pond
dreaming of summer

2.
wind blows through the trees
rustling the leaves
they become
an ocean of sound

3.
an owl sails through
the night sky
the autumn leaves sleep

4.
leaves sunk to the bottom
of the pond
are the color of the eyes of deer

5.
crows in the trees
cackle and crow
the leaves fall in silence

6.
blown by the wind
the lacy foliage of a cedar
captures an autumn leaf

7.
cold wind causes the leaves
to shiver and shake
bitterness under a full moon

8.
the last leaf clings to the branch
snow begins to fall
the last leaf finally lets go

copyright Kanzensakura

copyright Kanzensakura

 

32 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. thotpurge
    Sep 29, 2016 @ 23:42:08

    leaves sunk to the bottom
    of the pond
    are the color of the eyes of deer
    …this is my favourite…perfect!!

    Reply

  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 00:31:27

    Wonderful images, but yes the color of leaves on the bottom of a pond is a wonderful image that extend the leaves beyond the rest.

    Reply

  3. kim881
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 03:16:49

    Hi Toni! How the hiatus going – or has it gone already? It’s hard to let go when Björn pulls such a gem of a challenge out of the bag. And you’ve really risen to the challenge. Your poem is the leaf to my tree! I love it. particularly:
    ‘wind blows through the trees
    rustling the leaves
    they become
    an ocean of sound’
    That’s the soundtrack to my day at the moment and its comforting and musical.

    Reply

  4. sarahsouthwest
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 04:05:10

    I love this. Each image is so perfect.

    Reply

  5. Misky
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 04:43:18

    Number 4 is stunning.

    Reply

  6. Sanaa Rizvi
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 06:45:39

    blown by the wind
    the lacy foliage of a cedar
    captures an autumn leaf

    Stunning work here ❤️

    Reply

  7. Brian
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 07:16:03

    Each leaf alone – falls to compost – together denude tree – cycle to roots

    Reply

  8. frankhubeny
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 08:49:17

    I liked the last one best about the last leaf finally letting go.

    Reply

  9. Grace
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 12:40:55

    Lovely offering with 2 and 4 as my favorites Toni ~ Hope you are fine ~

    Reply

  10. Walter J. Wojtanik
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 17:19:04

    your grasp and vision of nature is outstanding, Toni. You give such graceful life to your words! Love these!

    Reply

  11. whimsygizmo
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 17:53:05

    I like this line, especially:
    “bitterness under a full moon”

    Each of these is a perfect capture.

    Reply

  12. Victoria C. Slotto
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 18:58:15

    This is just glorious, Toni. No way I could pick out a favorite, though the ones with bird…nah, they’re all gorgeous. Definite feel of Japanese iinfluence.

    Reply

  13. ladynyo
    Sep 30, 2016 @ 21:58:21

    OH! If I had only looked at this prompt from this perspective! LOL! Your haiku make it clear to me. I sucked at this prompt because I didn’t trust what I knew. I love all your leaves haiku. Makes sense, this small verse. Beautiful, Toni. You made me smile. And understand.

    Reply

  14. mother wintermoon
    Oct 01, 2016 @ 20:15:52

    Ah, haiku cubism. Love the leaves and all the seasonal imagery. Great work, Toni!

    Reply

  15. kaykuala (@hankkaykuala)
    Oct 01, 2016 @ 23:24:47

    crows in the trees
    cackle and crow
    the leaves fall in silence

    One can feel the respect and utter silence of the trees when a crow is cawing in its branches. It seems to be alive to and unsure on how to react to the persistence of the lowly crow. Very good lines Toni!

    Hank

    Reply

  16. rosemawrites
    Oct 02, 2016 @ 07:17:11

    i haven’t witnessed the beauty of autumn but your poem brought me to a lovely autumn scene. ❤ great job, Toni!

    Reply

  17. Barry D.
    Oct 02, 2016 @ 19:18:47

    Beautiful words. I especially liked the first 3 stanzas Ocean of sound… dreaming of summer… just killer lines.

    Reply

  18. Edward Hotspur
    Oct 02, 2016 @ 21:38:41

    The way of the leaf
    Reach for the sun
    Always down to earth

    Reply

  19. Bryan Ens
    Oct 03, 2016 @ 08:38:44

    Love the image of that last leaf as it finally let’s go. A fitting finish to your wonderful poem.

    Reply

  20. lillian
    Oct 03, 2016 @ 10:19:01

    Have been in NC since TH with grand children so just now catching up in reading. Happy to see you here and hoping all is going well. I love this looking from different perspectives at the autumn leaves — especially the deer eye — the silent ones — and the one left on the branch as snow falls. They eye can see one small thing in so many ways — really lovely here.

    Reply

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