Haibun Monday #23

Today Bjorn wants us to write haibun about city scapes. I escaped from the city years ago…thank God!  So here is my take on the prompt.  He wants us to write a contemporty haibun and poetry ending full of grit.  Well, I can’t write a “contemporary haibun” or American sentence ending (no such thing in my book).  Hope it works.  It is also still a traditional haibun with a traditional haiku, non-fiction.  Haibun Monday # 23 – contemporary cityscape

Trees like skyscrapers

I walk down our lane, the rich warm smell of sunshine and leaves around me. Like skyscrapers the trees reach up to heaven. At night I can look up and see the movie full moon and the opera lights of a million twinkling lights. With no regrets I left the city behind. No alleys smelling of rank garbage and piss. No crowds, no shops constantly hawking their stuff, no barrage of the homeless, no vacant lots filled with the ever blowing newspapers and garbage, the listless spoiled youth, the constantly seeking searching purveyors of opera, plays, music, other bodies, entertainment. no flood of cars, buses, trains. I have all I need here and more. Take your city – enjoy the noise and clamor and bad air.
October comes -peaceful
and full of life – my violin
sings into the day.

39 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 16:01:52

    I think you can describe the grit even better in negation… I have my haven here as well (outside the city…) but I do love visiting it.


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 17, 2016 @ 16:17:11

      LOL…I guess you do have your haven! I don’t enjoy visiting and make it brief when I go. Thank goodness for Amazon and farmer’s markets.


      • mother wintermoon
        Oct 19, 2016 @ 01:10:31

        I’m with you all the way. I can no longer bear big city life. It holds zero allure for me. Gimme trees like skyscrapers any day! Fantastic title. The Internet deities have created Amazon Prime and it’s divine! I can feel the peacefulness of your soul and hear your violin 🎻 singing. ❤️ Lovely haiku.


  2. sarahsouthwest
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 16:37:58

    I love your skyscraper trees, movie moon and opera light stars. I suspect you appreciate the peace of the countryside all the more because of the time you spent in the city. It’s a lovely haiku, too. I had to do a haiku, as well. it didn’t seem right not to…


  3. lynn__
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 16:38:33

    Ah, the music of country living!


  4. kim881
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 16:51:39

    So glad to see you’re still posting, Toni! I love that ‘rich warm smell of sunshine and leaves’, the ‘skyscraper trees’, ‘movie full moon’ and the ‘opera lights’. It is bliss living away from the city and, I agree, we have all we need. But I’m afraid I still hanker for London occasionally, only to be relieved to get back to the country! I know I’m home when we drive through the tunnel of trees that leads into our village. Your haiku says it all!


  5. Let's CUT the Crap!
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 16:54:17

    It’s been so long, but glad I made the effort today.
    You know how to paint a scene. I smell the stink, noise and endless churn of elbow-to-elbow bodies. I’m a country girl but have been stuck in the city. Your country scape is endearing. ❤ 🙂


  6. Sanaa Rizvi (@rizvi_sanaa)
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 16:59:05

    Gosh this is soo beautiful Toni ❤️ I love the images of the ” full moon and the opera lights of a million twinkling lights.” Sigh.. gorgeous write ❤️

    Lots of love,


  7. ladynyo
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 17:26:06

    ROTF!!!! Funny, I was wondering how you would handle this. I found it very hard and depressing. Please Bjorn of the other D’verse Gods/Goddesses…please let us get back to traditional haibun/haiku! where we are comfortable and it’s not such a depressing challenge!!! LOL!

    This is lovely, Toni. Your take is excellent and you didn’t have to fall into the mire of what you have escaped. I think my clinical depression is born in the city….all these years. It’s too much to bear, but those 40 rose bushes and the huge towering trees that surround my property and street make it a ‘Calgon Take Me Away” moment.

    Your haiku, is…as always…spot on. A wonderful take on a very difficult prompt.


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 17, 2016 @ 17:28:35

      Thank you. Actually, the prompt was easy. I just did my own thing. And as Bjorn says, sometimes negation speaks louder than full in your face.

      Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab®|PRO


  8. Grace
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 17:43:03

    I specially like: opera lights of a million twinkling lights. I can leave the city but I don’t think I can totally leave it all behind because of the variety and sights to see. I also love your haiku – violin singing into the day.


  9. Victoria C. Slotto
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 18:45:13

    So agree with you…I have to drive TO the city (such as it is) past a field of horses, over a river. And it is a small city with two faces. One for the tourists, the gamblers, the homeless and south of town…oh heck, it’s not really a city. I love your account of nature’s city. Splendid images and of course, the haiku.


  10. Glenn Buttkus
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 20:21:53

    I agree, the prompt was more interesting than some others allowing us to fuse a bit of our own creativity with the loose framework of a haibun–which is what I do these days as my go to form–both abstract & traditional.


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 17, 2016 @ 20:43:21

      I find the classical form to be plenty creative. The “so called” contemporary form is not a haibun, regardless of what people think. As I have studied and written this fofm for almost 40 years, it is no more of a haibun than an American sentence is a haiku. I have noticed your attempts at trying to chand the format of a hsibun. Wbike it is an intrresting form, it is not hsibun. Even Bjorn himself said he doubted the non-classical form was truly a haibun and I concur. Changing a classic form to suit oneself is not truky a poetic form that is classic. I suggest you read The Road to ghe Northwest by Basho for genuine haibun rather than “contemporary” forms. As long as I do the haibun prompts, they will always be of classic format. Otherwise, they are simply a different poetic form, not haibun. Whichis why I did classic form and haiku for my haibun.

      Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab®|PRO


  11. ZQ
    Oct 17, 2016 @ 22:54:15

    Yes! …and that is where i am in space and in heart. 🙂 ❤


  12. rosemawrites
    Oct 18, 2016 @ 00:57:53

    “Take your city – enjoy the noise and clamor and bad air.”

    This is such a lovely and raw piece, Toni! ❤


  13. Mish
    Oct 18, 2016 @ 01:11:47

    The big city does not appeal to me at all, so your words truly resonate with me. I always find it strange when people are bored by smaller towns. Love your beautiful haiku. 🙂


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 18, 2016 @ 13:56:50

      Thank you Michelle. I actually live in a large city but escaped to the country surrounding it. I’ve always loved small towns but even they get a bit intense for me.


  14. Brian
    Oct 18, 2016 @ 07:55:59

    This reads like a Garth Brooks song extolling the virtues of country living.


  15. georgeplace2013
    Oct 18, 2016 @ 08:33:39

    “Take your city – enjoy the noise and clamor and bad air.” Definitely with you on this. (Also I love “skyscrapers the trees”


  16. Laura Bloomsbury
    Oct 18, 2016 @ 09:31:51

    a breath of fresh air – play your violin again for those of us marooned in clamour


  17. whippetwisdom
    Oct 18, 2016 @ 09:57:49

    I love your violin singing into the day. I also welcome the more traditional approach to haibun and could not bring myself to write one for this prompt (I have written two paragraphs of prose and a short poem instead).


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 18, 2016 @ 13:52:53

      That works well! In actuality, there is no such thing as a contemporary haibun…it either is a classic haibun or, it is something else. Maybe tge contempirary part is the subject, which realky isn’t. Centuries ago, Basho wrote about tge grittiness of the city in his day aling with is views of the country.


  18. petrujviljoen
    Oct 18, 2016 @ 10:22:10

    Loved this write and must admit I agree with every word. Writing mine and looking back in time I tried to tell myself I miss it, but can truly say I don’t.Thankfully.


  19. lillian
    Oct 18, 2016 @ 10:37:14

    grrrr…my internet connection went out after I wrote my first reply — right as I was posting it. Try again!
    So — when I read Bjorn’s prompt (which I obviously didn’t read carefully as I didn’t absorb the part about writing about the gritty aspect of city life) I immediately thought of you….and absolutely knew your response would be a haibun is a haibun is a haibun….no such things as a modern “haibun.” 🙂 And that is said with the utmost respect as I have learned soooo much from you.
    All that said, I like your take here on the city versus moving out of the city. And most especially I LOVE the violin!
    Smiling I am……..


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 18, 2016 @ 13:48:40

      You have made me smile! I am a notorious tree climbEr and I often take my violin to serenade the birds,, sqirrels, bunnies, possums…i sit on the nest of sevveral branches and saw away. Thank goodness no one can hear!


  20. Bryan Ens
    Oct 19, 2016 @ 00:15:18

    I wish that leaving the city was a viable option. Enjoy the peace!


  21. Bodhirose
    Oct 19, 2016 @ 10:28:42

    Toni, I had no doubt that you would write a traditional haibun with a haiku…I did the same as I couldn’t bring myself to muddle with it. I know of your distaste for the city and while I wouldn’t want to live in a city, I did enjoy being in Boston when we lived in the suburbs. It offered a lot of good food, entertainment and the Boston Commons and parks for greens spaces. That’s what I missed…not the fear of who might approach you in the subway.

    I still love the image of you up in a tree playing your violin! xo


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 19, 2016 @ 11:36:20

      Sometimes I miss the good foood…but I am a retired chef so…my husband is the one who misses the plays snd such. I got over concerts years ago. Having livrd in Philly, NYC, I occassionally indulged in that sort of thing but even they became tiresome. I was raised in a university city and travelled extensively. I can truly say cities have no appeal for me and I do not care for shoppkng. Amazon and farmers markets take care of my needs. Living in the country isn’t ideal. The filth of drug abuse and drug manufacture has spread to different areas of the country along with domestic violence, child abuse, prostitution. These spreadouts from the city only prove my point about city life and the blight they engender. The area where we live is still pretty pristine. I pray I die years from now beforethe blight spreads here. Like I said, I have all I need and more. The suburbs are even starting to get cityish. And I was amazed at all those wno kept to the traditional haibun form! If it isn’t broken, leave it alone….smiles.

      Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab®|PRO


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