Haibun Monday – Free For All

Today I have the prompt at dVerse Poets Pub. Come join us!  http://dversepoets.com/2017/07/24/haibun-monday-free-for-all-2/

Beautiful Spring
The spring this year was beautiful. A mild winter and lots of rain and snow had thoroughly watered the earth and flowers and trees were bursting forth. The last few months of my mother’s life, I spent with her daily. It was hard watching her slowly die, to pray for God to take her and end her suffering. One morning, they called me early from the skilled nursing facility she was in. During the night, my mother had died. I hung up the phone feeling empty, tired and sad. I stood at our living room window and looked out at the early summer green.

summer green and sun –
hummingbirds sip from the feeder –
it is cold inside

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Charley
    Jul 24, 2017 @ 18:54:53

    The perfection of haiku — the first line and last line can be changed round and you lose nothing. Your haibun is deep and deeply personal. Peace to you.

    Reply

  2. Waltermarks
    Jul 24, 2017 @ 20:15:52

    That’s so sad. You wait for so long, and then when it’s over, you’re worn out. The empty inside

    Reply

  3. Victoria C. Slotto
    Jul 24, 2017 @ 20:42:53

    The haiku is so evocative. You are so good at turning that final line. Writing of these deep feeling is so healing for me too.

    Reply

  4. nosaintaugustine
    Jul 24, 2017 @ 20:45:53

    Beautiful contrast in your haiku, I can feel the cold and the emptiness.

    Reply

  5. Frank Hubeny
    Jul 24, 2017 @ 22:29:59

    Both parts of the haibun described well the contrast of what is outside with what is inside. Nice remembrance of your mother.

    Reply

  6. Sumana Roy
    Jul 25, 2017 @ 04:55:25

    Nothing can fill the emptiness in such moments & even the summer sun fails to give a little bit warmth. The fullness in the world outside and the void within work amazingly. Love the haiku.

    Reply

  7. Janice
    Jul 25, 2017 @ 10:36:10

    For me your haibun emanates strength and the closing line of your haiku is very moving.

    Reply

  8. lillian
    Jul 25, 2017 @ 11:10:27

    Oh this is so achingly beautiful. The moment of the leaving is cold. May your beautiful garden refresh your soul and soon, very soon, may memories remain that bring a smile to your lips and warm your heart.

    Reply

  9. Sascha Darlington
    Jul 25, 2017 @ 20:10:28

    So poignant. A beautiful spring and yet your mother is dying.
    I am sorry for your loss.

    Reply

  10. Beverly Crawford
    Jul 25, 2017 @ 21:20:05

    Sorry for your loss. It recalls my own. They live on in our memory.

    Reply

  11. kaykuala (@hankkaykuala)
    Jul 25, 2017 @ 21:30:30

    It is cold, yes! One is all affected in days to come. Emptiness in feelings strangely enhanced. Very moving take, Toni!

    Hank

    Reply

  12. revivedwriter
    Jul 26, 2017 @ 04:09:56

    The haiku really describes the feeling of the prose. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

  13. lilliansthomas
    Sep 07, 2017 @ 04:42:06

    I especially like the structure of your haiban and how you bring us from the description of the changing season, to your mother’s condition and how it affects you to the moment after you hear the news of your mother’s death. I think we often associate losses in our lives with the particular weather that day or other mundane details of our lives that become entwined with the event. The haiku is the crown on this beautifully written haiban. Thank you so much for sharing a very intimate treasure with us.

    Reply

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