dVerse Poets Pub – voice of first frost

This is for dVerse’s Poets Pub, Haibun Monday.  Victoria is using the words “shimi no koe” – the voice of first frost to prompt us in our haibun.  First frost is a precursor to hatsu yuki, the first snow.  These two firsts are almost like sacred times to the Japanese and their observance of the seasons.  Victoria has done a beautiful job in this prompt.  Come visit us and read the various haibun at:  http://dversepoets.com/2017/10/02/haibun-monday-shimo-no-koe-  I’ve been awy due to eye problems.  I am slowly working my way back. Today I am posting this at Real Toads.   http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2017/10/the-tuesday-platform.html

Beautiful October
The October after you left in June was one of the most beautiful autumns I have known. I remember the smell of freshly fallen leaves mixing with the mast of those fallen the year before and slowly returning to the earth. I remember the colors all swirled together in a psychedelic tee shirt of warm colors. Most of all, I remember the night frost descended – the first of the season.

I remember sitting on the steps and blowing out the smoke from the joint I was smoking – doubly rich smoke both from the herb and the cold. The smoke was pure white in the moonlight. I shivered in the cold and pulled my frayed denim jacket closer. Across the full moon, a bat? An owl? A night bird? Flew blacking out the sparkling stars in the cold black sky. I could feel the change in the air; I could feel the temperature drop and feel the frost forming on my face, on the sleeves of the jacket. I walked across the lawn, slowly. Turning I could see where my boots had melted the frost that was glimmering on the grass. I thought to myself, trying to get over you was like trying to sew with gloves on or trying to turn a long rusted bolt.

autumn night – silent
stars look down on the frost and
shiver in the cold

public domain image

35 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Victoria C. Slotto
    Oct 02, 2017 @ 17:34:07

    Toni, I’m so happy you were able to make it today and hope you are improving. Your haibun is so rich in detail, in memories and underlying emotions. Every time I read your work, as well as your commentary, I fall more in love with the Japanese understanding of life and their use of words. Thank you.

    Reply

  2. Glenn Buttkus
    Oct 02, 2017 @ 20:06:42

    Your prose sparkles with your glorious recall, placing each reader at your elbow, letting us enjoy the second hand herbal/ice smoke, laugh at the flimsy denim worn against real chill–and so much more–even between the lines, as we see you practicing your sword forms in the gray dawn on the frozen turf.

    Reply

    • Anonymous
      Oct 02, 2017 @ 20:29:24

      Yes, every day rain, snow, and even the wretched heat, I practice my forms. It keeps me supple, even at my age and yoga is just too precious… 🙂

      Reply

  3. qbit
    Oct 02, 2017 @ 20:09:50

    Stars shiver in the cold! Beautiful!!

    Reply

  4. purplepeninportland
    Oct 02, 2017 @ 20:23:06

    What a splendid haibun, Toni. The jacket, and smoke in the air detailed this beautifully. Hope you are feeling a bit better.

    Reply

  5. sarahsouthwest
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 01:54:35

    Of course. That’s how it should be done. The detailing, the linking of nature and your inner world, the reflection. It’s perfection.

    Reply

  6. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 04:05:36

    This is a wonderful memory… as usual I always love the details. Like the way the footprints melting in the frosty grass. Maybe it’s at spe

    Reply

  7. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 04:06:05

    Sorry Special moment like sorrow we will notice those details.

    Reply

  8. Vivian Zems
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 04:42:47

    I like the idea of stars shivering in the cold- and you, getting over you (an impossibility).

    Reply

  9. Frank J. Tassone
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 06:07:46

    Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
    #Haiku Happenings #3: Toni from Kanzen Sakura offers this beautiful #haibun for DVerse Poet Pub’s Haibun Monday!

    Reply

  10. Frank Hubeny
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 09:46:23

    I liked your description of the difficulty of getting over someone as turning a rusted bolt or sewing with gloves on. The frost accentuated the loss in a beautiful autumn.

    Reply

  11. Beverly Crawford
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 09:53:33

    A beautifully captured moment in time. Loved the metaphors!

    Reply

  12. annell4
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 12:32:03

    How beautiful….painful and beautiful!

    Reply

  13. Magaly Guerrero
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 21:34:01

    The first sentence of the prose is magnificent. It nudges the mind towards all sorts of thoughts… And the haiku crowns the piece in the most lovely and gentle of ways (even with the cold). No ice can ruin a night, when the stars are looking down on us…

    Reply

  14. thotpurge
    Oct 03, 2017 @ 21:44:01

    feeling the cold here.. along with the shivering stars!!

    Reply

  15. kim881
    Oct 04, 2017 @ 02:42:35

    Welcome back, lovely Toni! Reading your haibun is like a very short film of your memories. Just for a minute or so you allow me to climb inside your head, where it’s cosy and familiar, even though I don’t really know you and you’re thousands of miles away, wearing ‘a psychedelic tee shirt of warm colors’. 🙂 I have mentally joined you on those steps.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Oct 04, 2017 @ 10:39:14

      Wonderful lovely Kim! You know, my precious friend Peggy often joined me, mentally on those steps. Sometimes we would call each other – she from Federal Way WA and me from Richmond VA. I miss her being there so much. I am happy to have you beside me. I hope you will join me for the first snowfall! and the first harvest moon, and the first frost for this year. 🙂

      Reply

  16. Sanaa Rizvi (@rizvi_sanaa)
    Oct 04, 2017 @ 06:09:48

    What a gorgeous haibun Toni! 🙂 Especially like; “Turning I could see where my boots had melted the frost that was glimmering on the grass. I thought to myself, trying to get over you was like trying to sew with gloves on or trying to turn a long rusted bolt.”

    Reply

  17. Just Barry
    Oct 04, 2017 @ 15:03:00

    I once read somewhere that getting over someone was like trying to fight your way out of a velvet bag. Your haibun hits me similarly. The resigned melancholy resonates deeply with me.

    Now I’m going to have to spark one and sit outside on my stoop to see what frost visits me. 😉

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Oct 04, 2017 @ 15:49:54

      Spark away my friend. We won’t get first frost until the end of october. But it is still good sitting on the steps and watching the stars.

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      Reply

  18. Marian
    Oct 05, 2017 @ 06:09:42

    This is gorgeous. I love the detail of the footprints, and the noticing of them.

    Reply

  19. Misky
    Oct 05, 2017 @ 06:13:09

    A long rusted bolt. Perfection, Toni.

    Reply

  20. Bekkie Sanchez
    Oct 06, 2017 @ 13:41:48

    Wonderful!

    Reply

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