Real Toads: Shadorma

Today the prompt is a simple poetic form called the Shadorma. And while the syllables may be set for each line, the shadorma is not a glorified or extended haiku as there seems to be no rules for it – any subject as long as the syllable count is 3-5-3-3-7-5, making a sestet. A haiku must contain a kigo and a kireji otherwise, it is not a haiku. Haiku are ancient, Japanese, and also not titled nor is there any punctuation except for the short dash to show a slight aspiration when reading. And I still haven’t figured out why Someone is so frightened of haiku. Perhaps because there are so many bad examples of them on the internet.

autumn rain
strips the leaves from trees
lying on
the ground – they
stick to each other and to
my neighbor’s black cat

my husband
tracks them in on the
bottom of
his wet shoes.
He ruefully smiles and sweeps
them back out of doors

31 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. alisonhankinson
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 14:32:09

    Lovely flavours of autumn. I agree Shadorma it is not Haiku. It says it is a form originally used in Spain.


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 14, 2017 @ 14:33:55

      Yeppers. I got the info about Spain as well. And the way people are screwing around with haiku really ticks me off! ??

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  2. coalblack
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 14:32:29

    See, you are my Oriental short form hero. Cos yours are wonderful, not stupid. I adore this one–I can totally picture it because each detail is so perfect. Have a wonderful weekend, Toni!



  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 15:51:39

    This is exactly how autumn feels… show it don’t tell. Very good.


  4. Marian
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 16:15:48

    Yes, yes wonderful! Love this, and feel it too.
    (Also… yes, haiku is more complex and beautiful than simple syllable count… but jesting is necessary, heh.)


  5. Sanaa Rizvi (@rizvi_sanaa)
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 16:21:17

    I love this! ❤️ Elegantly done, Toni 🙂


  6. C Burtt
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 16:59:05

    This is absolutely wonderful! You have nailed autumn the way it deserves to be nailed!


  7. Vivian Zems
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 18:17:26

    Lovely poem- the image that remains with me is an irritated black cat smothered in wet leaves!


    • kanzensakura
      Oct 14, 2017 @ 20:26:10

      Ha Ha! She is a skinny thing and good at running dogs out of the yard. Yes, I can see her getting all irritated at the leaves sticking to her fur. I’ve tried talking to her but she only understands Swedish. But she comes to visit sometimes.


  8. Isadora Gruye
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 18:56:41

    The cat was an extra nice detail!


  9. Victoria C. Slotto
    Oct 14, 2017 @ 21:34:21

    Loved the details in this. 🐱


  10. kim881
    Oct 15, 2017 @ 04:18:07

    It’s like you’ve crept into my mind and spied on my soul, Toni.


  11. Miranda
    Oct 15, 2017 @ 04:40:17

    This is just lovely! I adore the black cat and husband’s shoes traipsing in the leaves.


  12. Mama Zen
    Oct 15, 2017 @ 11:23:04

    I adore this! The details make it perfect.


  13. jazzbumpa
    Oct 15, 2017 @ 12:44:55

    Such a vivid picture

    Shadorma is just right for evoking autumn images



  14. purplepeninportland
    Oct 15, 2017 @ 20:13:26

    I love this because it is something we all do without thinking about it. It happens all day long here.


  15. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Oct 16, 2017 @ 02:26:09

    Beautifully observed and expressed. (As we might expect from one so well-trained by haiku. 🙂 )


  16. kaykuala (@hankkaykuala)
    Oct 16, 2017 @ 05:00:27

    He ruefully smiles and sweeps
    them back out of doors

    Reminiscent of some irritating elements best to ignore and to laugh it off!



  17. sreeja Harikrishnan
    Oct 19, 2017 @ 00:53:12

    Vivid images…and evokes something inside…. beautifully done!


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