Real Toads Weekend Mini-challenge

For Kerry at Real Toads.  the prompt is based on the last line of William Blake’s Garden of Love.  http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2017/10/micro-poetry-binding-with-briars.html  Twelve lines is the limit to this weekend mini=challenge, any form you wish.  To read the poem by Blake: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45950/the-garden-of-love
For Poets United tomorrow.

Garden of Stars
frozen and tangled
blackberry briars encircle
the sunken grave dug in
silence by the light of stars –
nobody knew her – nobody
cared – the lust that rent her
passed quickly – then rage.
off to find another one
he crept on into the night.
soon another will be planted.
nobody knows them,
nobody cares.

public domain image

12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sanaa Rizvi (@rizvi_sanaa)
    Oct 21, 2017 @ 17:56:23

    This is beautifully haunting.. love the images of ‘blackberry briars’ and ‘the lust that rent her passed quickly – then rage.”

    Reply

  2. Victoria C. Slotto
    Oct 21, 2017 @ 21:22:46

    Intense. Of course, you leave me with so many untied threads. And that’s good.

    Reply

  3. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Oct 22, 2017 @ 01:58:29

    Oh I do love the question this makes me ask. The language of the grave as reflected from Blake works so well.

    Reply

  4. kim881
    Oct 22, 2017 @ 02:34:06

    The title grabbed me, Toni, which reminded me of a romantic piece of yours, a haibun. So when I read the lines:
    ‘frozen and tangled
    blackberry briars encircle
    the sunken grave dug in
    silence by the light of stars’
    I was pulled into the darkness of this poem and then encountered the image of a serial killer planting bodies by the light of stars – and nobody cares. Chilling.

    Reply

  5. Kerry
    Oct 22, 2017 @ 08:22:55

    The imagery of the opening lines creates the scene perfectly. A sorrowful tale indeed.

    Reply

  6. Laura Bloomsbury
    Oct 22, 2017 @ 11:35:38

    indeed chilling from the first line which sets the scene for the murderously macabre in the briars

    Reply

  7. paul scribbles
    Oct 22, 2017 @ 15:58:21

    Powerful images in the narrative open doors to all sorts of possibilities.Dark things are afoot.

    Reply

  8. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Oct 23, 2017 @ 02:44:15

    Beautifully expressed – and thought-provoking

    Reply

  9. jazzbumpa
    Oct 23, 2017 @ 22:48:28

    I agree with what everyone else said.

    Makes me think of Jack the Ripper.

    namaste
    JzB

    Reply

  10. Margaret Elizabeth Bednar
    Oct 24, 2017 @ 13:28:15

    blackberry briars is beautiful – but the imagery haunting as we read to the end…

    Reply

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