The Abandoned House in Winter

For Real Toads – Today while driving through the country, I spied an abandoned house. The snow is almost gone but still, it froze the blood in my veins. http://withrealtoads.blogspot.com/2017/12/micro-poetry-fire-and-ice. I am also posting this on Poets United, Poetry Pantry.

The Abandoned House in Winter
The white sky –
The unbroken snow on the ground –
The sepia trees behind the abandoned house
outlined in dark brown like a drawing by a child –
I have never seen such a cold looking place –
So desolate –
Bare black trees in the foreground –
Windows defeated and blank –
So cold so cold –
The fire on the hearth went out years ago

27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sherry Blue Sky
    Dec 16, 2017 @ 19:30:38

    Such a bleak winter scene. So dead, an empty house. But I’ll bet she was a grand old girl in her day. Toni, I think your link at Toads takes you to Toads, not to your blog……I came looking……

    Reply

  2. sarahsouthwest
    Dec 16, 2017 @ 21:18:15

    Very bleak. I like your use of sepia. The colour, and the instant link with the image of a faded photograph.

    Reply

  3. Kerry O'Connor
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 00:44:22

    This is a wonderful piece of ekphrastic poetry. I felt a part of the picture.

    Reply

  4. kim881
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 04:10:46

    The iciness comes from both picture and poem, Toni. I love the sepia trees. The final line is a chiller!

    Reply

  5. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 05:39:21

    It’s one of those moment when you are reminded how close the hearth and heart are… this could just as well be a metaphor to me.

    Reply

  6. coalblack
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 07:52:09

    Old houses like this always tug at my heart in one way or another. Love this choice of subject.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Dec 17, 2017 @ 14:47:26

      Thank you Shay. Old abandoned houses affect me the same way – I wonder about the people who lived there, why they left, the things they left behind, the good times and the bad times….all of it.

      Reply

  7. Julian
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 16:01:38

    The desolate house can so often be unnerving, and for me you’ve captured this with the line “windows defeated and blank”

    Reply

  8. sanaarizvi
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 16:39:50

    There is something so evocative about old houses.. I like your use of sepia here.. Beautifully done.

    Reply

  9. scotthastiepoet
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 18:53:16

    As Sanaa says a powerful and very evocative write achieved so succinctly – the last line a perfect example of this…

    Reply

  10. Mary
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 20:06:50

    I feel the desolation. So lonely. So bleak. So very cold. I am chilled to the bone by your words.

    Reply

  11. ZQ
    Dec 17, 2017 @ 21:28:18

    A lot of dashes cluttered this wonderful piece, in my opinion.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Dec 17, 2017 @ 21:38:14

      I do not use typical punctuation. But thanks for the critique.

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      Reply

    • Lora
      Dec 19, 2017 @ 14:48:57

      I disagree. I’m a dash girl too. We get it from Emily Dickinson. And it works. 😉

      Reply

      • kanzensakura
        Dec 19, 2017 @ 14:51:57

        Yes ma’am it does! Thank you and hugs.

        Reply

      • ZQ
        Dec 19, 2017 @ 19:13:55

        Lora~
        Yes, I am familiar with her work and its intent. It wasn’t meant as a criticism… just a readers feedback who enjoyed the “whole” piece. There actually is nothing I have to say that needs to dispute anyone, other than thoughts
        “just for consideration” with a smile.

        Reply

        • kanzensakura
          Dec 19, 2017 @ 19:20:32

          Thank you ZQ. It seemed rather harsh to me as well and I am the writer. Perhaps in future, unless the writer has asked for such a critique, it would be best to edit such remarks. Unless you preface the remark with something like your comment to Lora.

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          Reply

  12. Sarah Russell
    Dec 18, 2017 @ 02:49:59

    “Windows defeated and blank…”. Just perfect, Toni!

    Reply

  13. Sumana Roy
    Dec 18, 2017 @ 04:26:14

    I love the use of toned down colors to express void. Very chilling indeed!

    Reply

  14. Brendan
    Dec 18, 2017 @ 04:47:49

    Cold cottage. We’ve all slept there, our dreams ghosted through there.

    Reply

  15. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Dec 18, 2017 @ 08:19:47

    The epitome of desolation! Yet, far from defeatist.

    Reply

  16. thotpurge
    Dec 19, 2017 @ 03:03:39

    The defeated windows finish that stark picture perfectly!

    Reply

  17. Lora
    Dec 19, 2017 @ 14:46:48

    I think there’s a certain charm and beauty to be found and appreciated in such dilapidation and hollowness. You just have to tilt your head a bit and hit it from the right angle.

    Reply

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