Cedars

a gogyoshi for Open Link Night at dVerse. A gogyoshi has five lines like a cinquain or tanka. However – that is the only “rule” for this Japanese poetic form. No syllable count, no rhyme or rhythm required. Exactly five lines, any style.

Cedars
cedars in the meadow
lined up in a row –
all is silent in the snow
except for the lonely call
of a crow.

Cedar – Ansel Adams 1956

33 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Frank J. Tassone
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 15:05:08

    Beautifully done, Toni! 🙂

    Reply

  2. sanaarizvi
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 15:19:58

    I believe the Crow symbolizes a new phase in one’s life… Beautifully penned, Toni 💖

    Reply

  3. Frank Hubeny
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 15:25:23

    I like the lack of constraints except for five lines in the gogyoshi also the calm feeling I get from reading your description of the cedars and the crow.

    Reply

  4. annell4
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 15:28:19

    Perfect!!! At least for me!

    Reply

  5. Carol J Forrester
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 15:28:34

    Very solemn, made me shiver slightly.

    Reply

  6. Vivian Zems
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 15:35:28

    Kind of haunting! I’m always greedy for new forms. I like this one and the way you painted the scene.

    Reply

  7. Linda Kruschke
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 16:10:53

    Beautiful!

    Reply

  8. kim881
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 16:16:46

    Another new and interesting form, Toni! I’d not come across the gogyoshi before.
    I love the ‘oh’ sounds in this and, of course, the cedars and the crow.

    Reply

  9. charliezero1.wordpress.com
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 16:34:38

    Amazing and perfectly well written. 🙂

    Reply

  10. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 16:35:40

    Love the sense of presence… that call of the crow fills the silence perfectly.

    Reply

  11. alisonhankinson
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 16:48:04

    What a fabulous tree. XXXXXX and I like the form. XX

    Reply

  12. Grace
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 17:32:48

    Love the simplicity and beauty of this Toni!

    Reply

  13. merrildsmith
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 17:47:06

    Lovely poetic image–and interesting 5 lines and no other rules.

    Reply

  14. Beverly Crawford
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 18:16:30

    So beautifully descriptive!

    Reply

  15. mhmp77
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 19:01:00

    kaykuala

    all is silent in the snow
    except for the lonely call
    of a crow.

    The lingering cold is an appropriate send-off to meet the impending spring morning

    Hank

    Reply

  16. Candy
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 22:16:32

    I love the crows in winter. This is enchanting! A new form for me.

    Reply

  17. rothpoetry
    Feb 22, 2018 @ 22:59:55

    Reminds me of children in the school hall ….all lined up and silent! Beautiful photo and word photo as well.
    Dwight

    Reply

  18. ladynyo
    Feb 23, 2018 @ 05:47:21

    Lovely, Toni. You bring us another lovely Japanese form. Delightful!

    Reply

  19. Pursewarden
    Feb 23, 2018 @ 15:41:16

    Your poem is so like a photo, the Ansel Adams picture was redundant.

    Reply

  20. Sascha Darlington
    Feb 23, 2018 @ 16:06:55

    This is beautiful. Crows tend to be familial-type birds so this has an echo of sadness.

    Reply

  21. MarinaSofia
    Feb 24, 2018 @ 06:46:52

    Ah, reading your poems is always like stepping into the pages of one of the classical Japanese novels. I can imagine you being a lady or a samurai at court or perhaps a monk penning your morning observations with beautiful calligraphy.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Feb 24, 2018 @ 10:41:20

      Wow. Thank you! More likely a samurai or a monk. This is such a lovely comment. I do get onto a meditative state when I pen my haiku. Bless you.

      Get Outlook for Android

      ________________________________

      Reply

  22. Victoria C. Slotto
    Feb 24, 2018 @ 19:52:52

    I love the simplicity of this form–and so much contained within.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Feb 25, 2018 @ 14:02:00

      It is a great form! Five lines, that is it. lots of freedom unlike a lot of other sticky picky forms. And it causes brevity, which I like but sometimes, I have to write about dead raccoons.

      Reply

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