Haibun: Chijitsu

The word “chijitsu” is one of those beautifully specific Japanese words that means “lingering day”.  Haibun have no titles.  They are factual accountings of an event or time in one’s life.  They are always finished with a haiku;  there is always a seasonal word in haiku otherwise, it isn’t.  For day 17 in Nannernanner and the Tuesday Platform at Real Toads.

The air as warm as bathwater – the last part of the day is filled with birdsong. A soft breeze blows and gently moves the new yellow-green leaves on the trees. Through the trees I watch the red ball of fire that is the setting sun slowly hanging on to the day. Except for the birds it is silent. No sounds of traffic or neighbors mowing lawns, no sounds of children playing – simple silence. I love this part of the day almost as much as I love the night. The brash sun mutes itself to soft grey. The smell of lilac fills my being and I breathe deeply. Soon it will be night but I enjoy this lingering day until the skies become cobalt and filled with stars.
lingering day –
the day prepares for sleep –
birds tell goodnight tales

 

22 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 15:38:45

    Oh the smell of lilac… I still have that in front of me… it will come in late May. Love the goodnight tales told by birds

    Reply

  2. Frank Hubeny
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 15:40:03

    Nice description of evening: “The brash sun mutes itself to soft grey”

    Reply

  3. Victoria C. Slotto
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 15:49:31

    There is so much serenity and grace in this. Your sensory descriptions are right on . I agree that it is the silence of this time of day that is sacred and the bird song…ah.

    Reply

  4. kim881
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 16:02:18

    Beautiful, Toni. The air here isn’t quite like bath water yet but we’ve been promised a heatwave this week! Luckily the trees in our garden provide shade and the nearby water encourages a bit of a breeze.Your view sounds similar to ours, with the ‘red ball of fire that is the setting sun slowly hanging on to the day’.I love the the ‘brash sun mutes itself to soft grey’ and the ‘skies become cobalt and filled with stars’.

    Reply

  5. Jane Dougherty
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 16:08:23

    You describe that last bustle of twilight when everything seems to have so much left to do before night, the flowers, the birds, the light in the sky.

    Reply

  6. Jo Aylard
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 16:11:54

    When I read your poem, it makes me long for the twilight time of summer and the heady scent of lilac — well done!

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Apr 16, 2018 @ 17:50:13

      Thank you. You have one of the most difficult to comment forms I have come across. I have tried to comment on this haibu n several times and am always thrown out. It is a lovely haibun. I still talk to my loved ones. Try it. I think you will be amazed at how comforting it is.

      Reply

  7. qbit
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 16:15:04

    “birds tell goodnight tales” — wonderful!

    Reply

  8. ayala
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 16:31:50

    Love…birds tell goodnight tales 🙂 sweet

    Reply

  9. Vivian Zems
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 18:09:17

    You really lingered in the moment. .love that❤

    Reply

  10. Grace
    Apr 16, 2018 @ 19:10:17

    Love the scent of bathwater and lilacs, and the muting of the sun to soft grey ~ I am listening to the birds tell their stories ~ As always, love the details of your stunning haibun ~

    Reply

  11. Margaret Elizabeth Bednar
    Apr 17, 2018 @ 14:29:13

    the beginning (again) of lingering days. I look forward to the “air warm as bathwater”… woke up to ice and WIND on this “fine” spring morn. 🙂 Beautiful, smooth writing that leaves me longing…

    Reply

  12. sanaarizvi
    Apr 17, 2018 @ 15:14:58

    This is beyond beautiful, Toni 💖 You captured the moment and allowed us to linger in its glory 😊

    Reply

  13. merrildsmith
    Apr 17, 2018 @ 17:32:09

    Beautiful. I really like: “the day prepares for sleep –
    birds tell goodnight tales”

    It’s gentle, like a lullaby.

    Reply

  14. Jim
    Apr 17, 2018 @ 21:14:14

    I love “the birds telling goodnight tales” as the ending line. I’d like to read your tutorial, mine also says Haiku ending but I’m wondering if it is the more liberal “Senryū” also or if it is okay to just call it by the name, “Senryū”, which I do. My tutorial also says to write third person prose and to avoid using the personal pronoun, “I”, almost always. Yours is fine with me, I have never formally studied poetry writing.
    ..

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Apr 17, 2018 @ 21:23:27

      It is a haiku ending. There are people who take great liberties with changing around the rules for Japanese forms although they leave the middle eastern and European forms as they are, for some reason. I have been writing haiku since I was six and haibun since I was about 22. I am now 66.

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      Reply

  15. thotpurge
    Apr 18, 2018 @ 08:12:18

    air warm as bathwater… love that line and the peace of the unfolding evening.

    Reply

  16. Kerry
    Apr 18, 2018 @ 10:22:21

    Simple silence is not something one should take for granted.

    Reply

  17. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Apr 18, 2018 @ 17:44:41

    Beautifully evoked.

    Reply

  18. lillian
    Apr 21, 2018 @ 12:14:07

    That delicious moment of silence and the scent of lilac and then the sky becomes cobalt and filled with stars. Oh Toni … such a beautiful sensibility you have with words. Absolutely lovely.
    Apologies for such late reading…just now catching up and always anticipate reading your posts. 😊❤️

    Reply

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