Haibun: Yuudachi

Today at Real Toads, I am doing the prompt for Thursday. I have given different Japanese words for rain – all of them seasonal. The Japanese have at least fifty words for rain. I have chosen yuudachi – sudden evening rain. I am asking people to choose one or several and write about the rain. If writing haibun I am asking for the classic form which is non-fiction and if writing haiku, the classic form which uses a seasonal word.

Haibun: Yuudachi
It was a long hot dry summer. Plants withered, animals died. I added another birdbath to the one already in use. Every day squirrels would line the thing, sipping and vying for places to drink. Several shallow birdbaths watered bunnies and the occasional cat or dog. The koi pond was down a foot, the koi clustered at the deep end in the shadow of plants. The night after you left, I sat on the back porch listening to the cicadas doing their raspy singing. I sniffed petrichor and suddenly rain began to pour down – a loud roar pounding plants into the ground, drumming on the roofs, and washing trash down the street gutters. The koi swam to the surface of the pond opening their mouths acting as if they were eating the drops of rain. I stood holding on the porch post and getting thoroughly soaked. I whispered – yuudachi, sudden evening rain. After the heat of the day the rain was cold. I wondered if it was raining where you were.  I bowed my head and wept hot tears of sorrow.

long hot dry summer –
cicadas cease their songs –
rain mutes all sound

 

19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sherry Blue sky
    Jun 06, 2018 @ 23:53:32

    This paints such a beautiful scene, Toni. I can akmost smell the way the earth smells when thise first drops hit…….love the image of the fish catching drops in their mouths……and feel the sorrow in those wondering lines at the end. Love the haiku. Beautifully done.

    Reply

  2. Kerry
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 08:49:07

    I is hard to live without rain, and also without the person who means the most.
    I felt the dearth of both, and the benison of rain.

    Reply

  3. annell4
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 09:13:30

    Your’s is a very sad story, and yet the rain comes to wash the world clean. xoxo

    Reply

  4. coalblack
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 13:58:36

    You have such a gift for description of natural scenes. The koi, the cicadas, all so present and real. And the emotion, yeah. Sigh.

    Wow @ the song. So different than the Eurythmics version, so soulful. He is very brave to sing it after it was made famous by his former partner in song Annie Lennox, she of the amazing pipes. I’d love to hear her sing it this way.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 07, 2018 @ 14:12:12

      I love Live at Darryl’s House. Darrly Hall has always been known for his total respect for the music. This is my favorite version of the Eurythmic’s song. It sounds more like the song should sound. I wish Annie would sing it like this as well. Thank you for reading and for not running away

      Reply

  5. coalblack
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 14:14:50

    Goodness, shows what I know. Of course that’s Dave Stewart on guitar, not singing. I didn’t realize that was Daryl Hall! Love him.

    Reply

  6. kim881
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 14:18:33

    After the sad image of ‘plants withered, animals died’ and the diminishing koi pond you painted a gorgeously sensual image of a welcome downpour. A magical swirling of sounds and sight, Toni! A sad ending, too.

    Reply

  7. Helen L Dehner
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 16:19:44

    I enjoyed your challenge … and the gift of your words.

    Reply

  8. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 16:38:50

    This image of the koi pond and the sudden rain mixes so well with the emotion of your samurai leaving.. just wonderful

    Reply

  9. Jim
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 17:05:12

    Toni, I like your Haibun, it’s charming with a tinge of sadness. I suspect it may be written with yoir mother in mind. My dad didn’t know who I was for his last two years. He called me by various family names,
    Thanks again for the nice prompt.
    BTW, I’m riding in the car, Mrs. Jim is driving. She scares me with her driving.
    ..

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Jun 07, 2018 @ 17:19:44

      It actually is written about an ex-lover I had years ago in mind. I have written several true poems about him and haibun (which are suppsed to be non-fiction). Sorry about Mrs. Jim driving. My husband scares the bejabbers out of me when he drives!

      Reply

  10. Victoria C. Slotto
    Jun 07, 2018 @ 21:25:36

    I like how you brought in sensory desctiptions to make us feel the emotions at play.

    Reply

  11. MrsBednar
    Jun 08, 2018 @ 00:48:12

    I feel as if I am with you on the porch… and those sad tears… I’ve been there.

    Reply

  12. Frank J. Tassone
    Jun 08, 2018 @ 13:27:44

    Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
    #Haiku Happenings #6: Toni’s latest #haibun for Real Toads’ Fifty Shades of Rain!

    Reply

  13. Suzanne
    Jun 15, 2018 @ 04:23:59

    What a powerful haibun. Your intense emotions reverberate in the rain.

    Reply

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