The Owl

For Marian’s Fussy little forms prompt at Real Toads. A tricube form. three syllables per line, three lines per stanza, three stanzas per poem. Posted at Poets United Poetry Pantry

The Owl

full moon – an
owl glides in
the moonlight.

silent and
deadly – wings

mice scramble
for cover –
it’s too late.

27 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Victoria C. Slotto
    Jul 14, 2018 @ 21:47:10

    Fun form to work with
    My baby robins have hatched…3 of them
    I’m spending te watching them and getting nothing done
    Tug of war with a worm yesterday 😊


  2. willow88switches
    Jul 14, 2018 @ 22:25:15

    owls are such amazing creatures – and I really like how you’ve taken this weird little form, and given it a zen quality – making it work for you, and the subject matter, with grace and a certain powerful elegance


    • kanzensakura
      Jul 14, 2018 @ 22:29:10

      Thank you again Pat. It is an odd little form. As you said, constricting. It took me more to play with this form than it ever did a haiku. Like a fractious baby this form is.

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      • willow88switches
        Jul 14, 2018 @ 22:41:40

        I think it’s a bit too constricting, and this is coming from one who only dabbles a bit in Haiku etc. – but at least, that ancient form has reason for foundation!


        • kanzensakura
          Jul 14, 2018 @ 23:05:52

          Yes it does. I have been writing Japanese forms for 30+ years. One thing as Shay can tell you is: I hate fauxku. I have the deepest respect for the form and the culture that birthed it.

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  3. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 01:16:46

    I love it, Toni! Haiku-like, I think, in its simple, vivid clarity. I love owls too, though we have different kinds in Australia from the northern hemisphere varieties.


  4. Kerry O'Connor
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 01:50:01

    You created flow in this very chopped form with the run-on lines. So the finale works the halt very cleverly.


  5. sanaarizvi
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 05:16:18

    Wonderful flow in this one, Toni!💖 I love owls .. but sadly there aren’t any in my area.


  6. annell4
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 07:22:34

    A lovely write. But the last line, “its too late.” Is never good, when “its too late,” can be applied.


  7. kim881
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 07:23:02

    I love it Toni! You chose a night bird and I chose a morning one 🙂


  8. Marian
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 10:19:01

    Uh oh, too late! Well, that is the natural order of things. I like how you presented this very much.


  9. Vandana Sharma
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 11:22:37

    Wow! very nice depiction of the night owl’s hunting games!!


  10. hypercryptical
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 12:18:23

    So well done Toni. A perfect little story.
    Anna :o]


  11. Sherry Marr
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 14:57:54

    This is just perfect!


  12. ZQ
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 17:12:51

    Yup! Excellent write, for me.


  13. Mary
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 18:39:37

    That is the way of nature. Sad but true. Some live, some die. In this case, poor mouse.


  14. Truedessa
    Jul 15, 2018 @ 19:36:53

    Owls have been symbolic in my life. I take notice when one enters my life.


  15. Vivian Zems
    Jul 16, 2018 @ 03:37:15

    A powerful prey indeed. Magnificent creature and strong ode to the owl.


  16. Susan
    Jul 16, 2018 @ 09:04:37

    places, camera/action! Beautifully captured.


  17. Jo
    Jul 16, 2018 @ 09:18:09

    I love this – owls are amazing!


  18. thotpurge
    Jul 16, 2018 @ 11:12:51

    Nice picture of predator and prey !


  19. purplepeninportland
    Jul 16, 2018 @ 19:58:44

    Poor little mice. That photo is majestic!


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