Kogane no aki ga hajimarimasu

As I do not do rhymes, I have elected to do a free form sonnet.  Yes there is such a thing and many lovely ones have been written.  A free form sonnet is 14 lines long.  That is it.  This is for Kim’s rainbow of sonnets over at Real Toads. I have used the colors golden, black, blue, white, cream, and gold in my sonnet.  The Japanese title means:  Golden Autumn Begins.  Also posted on Posts United Poetry Pantry.

*Kogane no aki ga hajimarimasu
The golden voice of autumn whispers –
a breeze across the dry leaves,
A wind in the reeds at the creek.
The little black priest cricket delicately moves his legs,
a small voice among the pine and bell crickets,
alto to the larger cicada and their metallic thrum.
A new coolness in the air, the coming of autumn is somnolent today,
No rise or fall, a steady tone of almost silence.
The first storm of autumn has washed the sky clean.
Autumn is clearing – the sky is brilliant blue
With luminous white clouds drifting and peaceful.
The harvest moon is fading, bright gold coin in the black sky
dims and wanes to a partial dish of cream.
An early leaf burning, its incense wanders and drifts to heaven.

 

32 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. anmol(alias HA)
    Sep 22, 2018 @ 17:52:06

    This is gorgeous — the sweep of autumnal images and sounds are mesmerizing, with the somnolence and silence in between all the more pronounced. I especially liked the image of the moon as a gold coin waning to a partial dish of cream. Even if not rhymed, the assonance here and there in it gives it a nice flow.

    Reply

  2. Pat: willow88switches
    Sep 22, 2018 @ 18:16:18

    Even for a free form sonnet, it is most wonderful – and hey, the prompt *did* say you could write a modern sonnet, so this more than works. 🙂

    There is a very soft and subtle beauty that slips in and then wends its way through, from the small “black priest cricket” – how delightful is this, to what, in my mind, is the silver choir, the cicadas, and we are able to rest some, in the silences between, what – autumn’s sermons (i.e. the storms) and contemplation for the candles, lit? the slight smoking of a leaf burning, the moon … it’s all really lovely and rich for the concreteness of the images you’ve presented, yet roomy enough to allow us to just drift into our own spaces and thoughts about this new season.

    I really like the line about Autumn being “clearing” – that speaks a very subtle truth – and the last 3 lines are certainly outstanding and very beautiful – I feel like I’ve just been praying and am offering up my gift/wish/petition of thanks to the heavens.

    Absolutely wonderful Toni 🙂

    Reply

  3. coalblack
    Sep 22, 2018 @ 20:22:47

    I adore the little priest cricket.

    Reply

  4. peterfrankiswrites
    Sep 22, 2018 @ 23:17:57

    A fine sonnet – each image is crystal clear and stands on its own – from micro (the crickets) to macro (the sky and the storm). I so like how together they show us the golden autumn.

    Reply

  5. MrsBednar
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 01:01:36

    Adore “black priest cricket”, and “alto to the larger cicada”. I like how this poem descends into quietness or perhaps peacefulness.

    Reply

  6. vandana
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 03:15:22

    the ending lines say it all, we all will one day merge into heaven. beautiful composition.

    Reply

  7. sanaarizvi
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 04:55:15

    This is absolutely stunning! ❤ Especially love; “The harvest moon is fading, bright gold coin in the black sky.” 😊

    Reply

  8. kim881
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 08:40:45

    This is a gorgeous free-form sonnet, Toni! From the ‘golden voice’ to the ‘bright gold coin in the black sky’, you’ve painted with an autumnal palette and created a memorable scene. I especially enjoyed the movement you brought into it with the ‘breeze across the dry leaves’ and the ‘little black priest cricket’ delicately moving his legs – nothing is static.I love the way the ‘harvest moon is fading’ and ‘dims and wanes to a partial dish of cream’, and the incense of an ‘early leaf burning’ and drifting to heaven’. This is a sonnet to meditate on.

    Reply

  9. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 11:07:11

    This is so beautiful, and there are many ways to do a sonnet… 14 lines is a perfect length, and at the end the imagery is what makes it great.

    Autumn is a wonderful month.

    Reply

  10. Sherry Marr
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 11:14:38

    I love the sky washed clean, then the moon as a golden coin. This was lovely to read and envision.

    Reply

  11. Kerry
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 12:23:59

    A lovely array of Autumn shades.

    Reply

  12. ZQ
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 14:54:00

    Excellent “snapshot’! I have been listening to the last act welcoming the “peepers” : )

    Reply

  13. Mary
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 17:51:29

    You have really given a good description of autumn at its best. So many sensory descriptors make your sonnet a delight.

    Reply

  14. Helen
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 18:12:42

    This is quite beautiful ….

    Reply

  15. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 21:11:33

    What a beautiful evocation of autumn, via its colours!

    Reply

  16. Wendy Bourke
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 21:24:00

    Stunningly rendered images captured in eloquent lines. This is a sonnet!

    Reply

  17. susanstoo
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 21:40:50

    Goodness–the whispering that can be seen in movement, all the way down to that calm dish of cream. Goodness–the beauty and clarity of autumn on a clear day. I enjoyed moving through this sonnet.

    Reply

  18. Sumana Roy
    Sep 23, 2018 @ 23:58:06

    I sooo love the meditative tone here. All the delightful images speaking in autumn voice add such a beauty!

    Reply

  19. Jim
    Sep 24, 2018 @ 01:13:41

    Nice Sonnet. Toni. My favorite part of Fall is the harvest moons. I’m glad you included one here. About half my poems ate free verse Sonnets, most have eight syllable lines, a few tens. I generally don’t point out form except labeling them as syllabic form.
    ..

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 24, 2018 @ 12:44:29

      Thank you Jim. I am doing more research on free form sonnets to get syllable count etc. I do better with than the rhymes and stuff being firmly rooted in Japanese style poetry.

      Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 24, 2018 @ 15:57:43

      I have discovered that is the difference between blank verse and free verse sonnets. This is a free verse sonnet which means, as I correctly thought, 14 lines and that is it. The blank verse has lambs and syllable coubts.

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      Reply

  20. Vicki
    Sep 24, 2018 @ 10:24:51

    Beautiful sonnet.

    Reply

  21. Charmed Chaos
    Sep 24, 2018 @ 15:01:46

    I love all of this Toni, but especially the partial dish of cream as the waning moon. Wonderful!

    Reply

  22. hypercryptical
    Sep 24, 2018 @ 15:58:33

    I could happily lose myself in your words Toni and exist there for a long long time. Exquisite.
    Anna :o]

    Reply

  23. purplepeninportland
    Sep 24, 2018 @ 16:14:31

    This certainly proves that a sonnet does not need rhyme. Love ‘the black priest cricket’, ‘gold coin in the sky’, and so many more. Lovely writing, Toni.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Sep 24, 2018 @ 16:17:00

      Thank you! A free verse sonnet is my favorite kind. All it needs is 14 lines as opposed to blank verse which needs no rhymes but needs syllable counts. I am glad you enjoyed this. It was a joy writing it.

      Reply

  24. magicalmysticalteacher
    Sep 24, 2018 @ 19:23:36

    I am absolutely enchanted with the image of the cricket as priest. There is a holy hush about this poem that I find soothing to my soul.

    Reply

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