The Atlantic in November

For Sanaa’s prompt at Real Toads and dVerse Poets Pub, using as a point of reference Neruda’s poem, If You Forget. Posting on Poets United Poetry Pantry as well.

The Atlantic in November
“If you are not too long, I will wait here for you.” Oscar Wilde

Remember that day by the grey-green Atlantic,
Standing there in the rain riddled with snow,
You pulled me close to you and kissed me.
We stood there lost in each other
Until the waves began to splash our boots.

Remember that day by the grey-green Atlantic
We walked in the fog
That misted our seeing, that misted our hair
With damp that made us shiver
As we wandered in the rain riddled with snow.

I remember that day by the grey-green Atlantic
Even if you do not remember.
I remember the gulls reeling overhead
crying like lost souls  in the fog.
I remember as the waves splash my boots.

 

 

37 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 15:50:32

    The image of you walking by the sea is so filled with sorrow, just by the color and coldness… not to mention the water splashing your boots.

    Reply

  2. Glenn Buttkus
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 15:51:22

    Wow, this one zings and sings; sensuality and remembrance. You had me at /gulls
    reeling overhead/crying like lost souls in the fog/.

    Reply

  3. Frank Hubeny
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 16:00:06

    I like the repetition of remembering and the “grey-green Atlantic”.

    Reply

  4. sanaarizvi
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 16:08:08

    Ooh this is incredibly intense and romantic, Toni ❤ especially love the image of “the gulls reeling overhead
    crying like lost souls  in the fog”… thank you so much for writing to the prompt 😊

    Reply

  5. Magaly Guerrero
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 18:16:11

    What we experience, love, and keep in our hearts can’t be taken away by another. I really like the way in which the speaker says this, how the repetition drives the point deeper.

    Also, I really love the tone of the introductory quote. It made me laugh.

    Reply

  6. msjadeli
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 18:44:03

    i like the rhythm of the repetition and the subtle, yet powerful changes in the repeating lines.

    Reply

  7. Grace
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 19:03:01

    I like the refrain of remembering that day by the grey-green Atlantic. The one line that spells of sadness is: Even if you do not remember.

    Reply

  8. rothpoetry
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 19:38:52

    What a beautiful love song… The repetition really emphasizes the intensity of the that cold rainy day. Well done! I could feel the sleet mixed with rain!

    Reply

  9. V.J. Knutson
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 20:29:50

    Good description. Felt as if I was there with you.

    Reply

  10. Sherry Marr
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 20:34:48

    I love this. The repetition works really well.

    Reply

  11. peterfrankiswrites
    Nov 15, 2018 @ 22:50:27

    Terrific verse. The refrain did it for me, that and the quote from Oscar Wilde (incomplete here).

    Reply

  12. anmol(alias HA)
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 03:05:49

    Ah, the conclusion makes it so melancholic — the loneliness of that image is powerful. I loved the first-line refrain and how it binds it all together into an experience, into something lived, and that leaves a trace of its own happening. 🙂

    Reply

  13. Rob Kistner
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 03:44:59

    Nice writing! Beautufully visual… 🙂

    Reply

  14. Brendan
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 04:06:01

    The iron grey of that long ago November kiss by the sea is an ink indelible here bittersweet with longing and loss. It remains faithful to that moment despite so much that has been lost — as we reader remain too, saying yes …

    Reply

  15. kim881
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 04:26:03

    I too am in love with winter beaches – they are melancholy and the colours are perfect – all of which is conveyed in your poem, Toni. Although the Atlantic coast is so much bigger and warmer than the North Sea one.
    I love the lines:
    ‘We stood there lost in each other
    Until the waves began to splash our boots’
    and .
    ‘I remember the gulls reeling overhead
    crying like lost souls in the fog’
    The repetition is like waves on the beach…

    Reply

  16. Laura Bloomsbury
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 07:48:58

    the repetitions are very evocative of memory and how we replay the scenes
    – so much poetry in that one line
    “Remember that day by the grey-green Atlantic,”

    Reply

  17. annell4
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 15:53:09

    It seems like a lonely walk on the beach…of course he remembers.

    Reply

  18. Charmed Chaos
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 16:22:18

    This is spectacular Toni.

    Reply

  19. Jane Dougherty
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 16:29:46

    There is something so terribly poignant in that ‘even if you don’t remember.’

    Reply

  20. oldegg
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 18:14:19

    Those moment of happiness are turned into sadness when they are remembered years later when your loss hurts so much. What a wonderful poem this is.

    Reply

  21. purplepeninportland
    Nov 16, 2018 @ 20:49:40

    This is a beauty, Toni. The repetition of lines deepens the meaning of how you are feeling. Photo is a perfect match.

    Reply

  22. Lona Gynt
    Nov 17, 2018 @ 01:15:43

    Perfection Toni. The tone and the tide, the refrain billows like the tide, we are all pulled close. Such beauty. I am frozen in this, standing there in boots.

    Reply

  23. Kerry
    Nov 17, 2018 @ 06:11:36

    This is a wonderful mood piece, the ocean is a repository of memories, I believe.

    Reply

  24. Bekkie Sanchez
    Nov 17, 2018 @ 12:28:55

    Wonderful!

    Reply

  25. therisa
    Nov 17, 2018 @ 15:53:08

    Such a sad reminiscing about a past love one, who has moved on from you. Your usage of repetition takes the reader to that time and place with you. A masterful job.

    Reply

  26. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Nov 17, 2018 @ 20:22:56

    Ohhhh! This is wonderful – nay, perfect.

    Reply

  27. Margaret Elizabeth Bednar
    Nov 17, 2018 @ 20:42:28

    Oh, this is deliciously poetic! ADORE it.

    Reply

  28. D. Avery @shiftnshake
    Nov 17, 2018 @ 20:58:32

    Well done. Great imagery it sets the time so effectively.

    Reply

  29. Donna@LivingFromHappiness
    Nov 18, 2018 @ 14:51:39

    I love the repetition and the imagery….such things like weather and places bring back a rush of memories.

    Reply

  30. Sherry Blue Sky
    Nov 18, 2018 @ 14:58:08

    I especially love the gulls overhead “crying like lost souls”.

    Reply

  31. Wendy Bourke
    Nov 18, 2018 @ 16:15:52

    This is simply stunning. It is beautifully drawn – but, beyond that, the shift in the 3rd stanza is unlike anything I can remember seeing before. It is impactful – heartbreaking – and authentic. It really effected me. An evocative, brilliantly rendered piece of writing!

    Reply

  32. ZQ
    Nov 18, 2018 @ 20:52:14

    Outstanding! …all has been said.

    Reply

  33. thotpurge
    Nov 18, 2018 @ 22:12:26

    What a beautiful memory…

    Reply

  34. KB
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 17:47:53

    Beautifully written, Memories like those are to be cherished

    Reply

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