Cherry Blossom Snow – sakura no yuki

For Anmol’s prompt over at dVerse – relationships and sensuality.  This is an “extreme” haibun being less that 65 words.  Actually, all haibun need to be short as in the original.  Haibun are true accountings ended with a seasonal haiku. Also posted on Real Toads Tuesday Platform.

Cherry Blossom Snow
“The heart was made to be broken.” Oscar Wilde

He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen, like an ancient Samurai. I fell in love at first sight. I was plain and short yet somehow, he fell in love with me. Long years of intense love and then, he returned to Japan. My heart broke.
cherry blossoms
fell like snow in the spring
caressing my skin goodbye

35 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jane Dougherty
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:20:10

    Oh! I didn’t want that to end. Perfection.

    Reply

  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:24:21

    I know so well now the story of your samurai… but the haiku here was so good.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:27:21

      Thank you. I am experimenting with an “extreme” haibun form. And after all these years, my heart is still broken. Oh well…

      Sent from Mail for Windows 10

      ________________________________

      Reply

  3. coalblack
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:39:58

    Some people leave but never depart, if that makes sense. They remain a part of our own story forever.

    Reply

  4. merrildsmith
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:45:29

    You’re right, no more words were needed. The haiku is exquisite.

    Reply

  5. Sherry Blue Sky
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 17:21:28

    Cherry blossoms caressing your skin goodbye…..so poignant. I agree with Shay, some people leave but never completely depart.

    Reply

  6. Glenn Buttkus
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 17:37:12

    You were left with a lot more than a handful of broken heart shards–your Samurai left you with an altered state of mind, a deep insight into the lure of Japan. It constitutes much of who you are today.

    Reply

  7. sanaarizvi
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 18:36:38

    This is so heartfelt, Toni! 💞I can picture the cherry blossoms falling .. and wept at the closing image.

    Reply

  8. Grace
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 19:05:49

    Beautiful haibun Toni. The pain of that goodbye is felt.

    Reply

  9. rainbow braids
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 19:17:15

    Aww, your poems about him are so captivating and sad. 😦 How beautiful and fulfilling to have known that kind of intense love though. Not everyone does.

    Reply

  10. Rob Kistner
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 19:46:12

    I sm going to try to post one more time here to compliment you on your poem. This will be my 5th try total on 2 different of your poems. If it doesn’t I will just assume my comments are not welcome here…

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Nov 20, 2018 @ 19:49:57

      I do not know why you cannot comment. I have my comments set to accept all. I am sorry. I always welcome comments!

      Get Outlook for Android

      ________________________________

      Reply

      • Rob Kistner
        Nov 21, 2018 @ 05:10:04

        I like your work Toni, so I was puzzled that my comments weren’t posting on your site, as I was having no problems on other sites. Good news, is this most recent comment appeared.

        Reply

        • kanzensakura
          Nov 21, 2018 @ 09:30:32

          That is great news! I don’t like it when I don’t get comments as I use them for feedback about my work, either positive or negative. I specialize in Japanese poetry forms but have gotten off that a bit. I am working to condense my writing again and stop the extreme verbosity. Thank you again. Take care.

          Reply

  11. m.j.smith
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 20:52:33

    “Snow in spring” – what a simple yet effective image for something that won’t last. Beautifully rendered.

    Reply

  12. qbit
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 21:58:59

    Great Haiku!!

    Reply

  13. anmol(alias HA)
    Nov 20, 2018 @ 22:15:20

    The poignancy of this yearning is so heartfelt and strong here. In that cherry blossom and skin-caressing image, you bind the story and experience in such a beautiful way.
    The Oscar Wilde prelude reminded me of his beautiful letters to Alfred Douglas.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Nov 20, 2018 @ 22:34:12

      He did write beautiful letters to Douglas, didn’t he? He was the love of Wolfe’s life. Thank you for your comment and for this lovely prompt.

      Get Outlook for Android

      ________________________________

      Reply

  14. areadingwriter
    Nov 21, 2018 @ 00:14:38

    oh your words are always full of emotions and imagery! ❤

    Reply

  15. kim881
    Nov 21, 2018 @ 02:21:02

    I always enjoy reading about your Japanese lover, Toni. Your haiku says it all.

    Reply

  16. KB
    Nov 21, 2018 @ 02:27:04

    Oh no. Tell me it’s not the end

    Reply

  17. Brendan
    Nov 21, 2018 @ 04:03:23

    Title and epigram turn clouds and rain into drifting cold snow. All of it is here.

    Reply

  18. Just Barry
    Nov 21, 2018 @ 12:58:26

    I relate to this so much. I think we all can. The brevity belies the unfathomable depth in the feeling of absence.

    Reply

  19. Christine Irving
    Nov 21, 2018 @ 14:07:50

    Such poignancy in so few words – true art

    Reply

  20. V.J. Knutson
    Nov 21, 2018 @ 15:29:54

    Beautiful tale of love and loss.

    Reply

  21. Jim
    Nov 22, 2018 @ 00:51:16

    Wonderful tale with a slightly surprising end that makes the fairy tale end early. The well composed Haiku softened the heartbreak some, don’t argue with the snowflakes and cherry blossoms.
    I.e., I like it much, seemed just the right length to tell the story and set your readers’ mindset.
    ..

    Reply

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