For Anmol’s prompt over at dVerse – relationships and sensuality. This is an “extreme” haibun being less that 65 words. Actually, all haibun need to be short as in the original. Haibun are true accountings ended with a seasonal haiku. Also posted on Real Toads Tuesday Platform.
Cherry Blossom Snow
“The heart was made to be broken.” Oscar Wilde
He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen, like an ancient Samurai. I fell in love at first sight. I was plain and short yet somehow, he fell in love with me. Long years of intense love and then, he returned to Japan. My heart broke.
cherry blossoms
fell like snow in the spring
caressing my skin goodbye
Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:20:10
Oh! I didn’t want that to end. Perfection.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:28:13
Thank you. I like the “extreme” haibun. I think 60 words total is the most I can go with it.
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Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:32:59
It didn’t need any more.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:24:21
I know so well now the story of your samurai… but the haiku here was so good.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:27:21
Thank you. I am experimenting with an “extreme” haibun form. And after all these years, my heart is still broken. Oh well…
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Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:39:58
Some people leave but never depart, if that makes sense. They remain a part of our own story forever.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:45:29
You’re right, no more words were needed. The haiku is exquisite.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 16:46:25
Thank you.
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Nov 20, 2018 @ 17:21:28
Cherry blossoms caressing your skin goodbye…..so poignant. I agree with Shay, some people leave but never completely depart.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 17:37:12
You were left with a lot more than a handful of broken heart shards–your Samurai left you with an altered state of mind, a deep insight into the lure of Japan. It constitutes much of who you are today.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 17:39:56
Yes it does Glenn. He gave me a new language, culture and kickass wakizashi! Thank you Glenn
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Nov 20, 2018 @ 18:36:38
This is so heartfelt, Toni! 💞I can picture the cherry blossoms falling .. and wept at the closing image.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 19:05:49
Beautiful haibun Toni. The pain of that goodbye is felt.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 19:17:15
Aww, your poems about him are so captivating and sad. 😦 How beautiful and fulfilling to have known that kind of intense love though. Not everyone does.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 19:46:12
I sm going to try to post one more time here to compliment you on your poem. This will be my 5th try total on 2 different of your poems. If it doesn’t I will just assume my comments are not welcome here…
Nov 20, 2018 @ 19:49:57
I do not know why you cannot comment. I have my comments set to accept all. I am sorry. I always welcome comments!
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Nov 21, 2018 @ 05:10:04
I like your work Toni, so I was puzzled that my comments weren’t posting on your site, as I was having no problems on other sites. Good news, is this most recent comment appeared.
Nov 21, 2018 @ 09:30:32
That is great news! I don’t like it when I don’t get comments as I use them for feedback about my work, either positive or negative. I specialize in Japanese poetry forms but have gotten off that a bit. I am working to condense my writing again and stop the extreme verbosity. Thank you again. Take care.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 20:52:33
“Snow in spring” – what a simple yet effective image for something that won’t last. Beautifully rendered.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 21:58:59
Great Haiku!!
Nov 21, 2018 @ 09:34:02
Thank you!
Nov 20, 2018 @ 22:15:20
The poignancy of this yearning is so heartfelt and strong here. In that cherry blossom and skin-caressing image, you bind the story and experience in such a beautiful way.
The Oscar Wilde prelude reminded me of his beautiful letters to Alfred Douglas.
Nov 20, 2018 @ 22:34:12
He did write beautiful letters to Douglas, didn’t he? He was the love of Wolfe’s life. Thank you for your comment and for this lovely prompt.
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Nov 21, 2018 @ 00:14:38
oh your words are always full of emotions and imagery! ❤
Nov 21, 2018 @ 09:32:32
Thank you so much for your kind words. ❤
Nov 22, 2018 @ 00:03:10
you’re welcome! 🙂
Nov 21, 2018 @ 02:21:02
I always enjoy reading about your Japanese lover, Toni. Your haiku says it all.
Nov 21, 2018 @ 09:31:52
Thank you Kim! I am currently re-reading Wilde’s letters to Alfie Douglas. They are so beautiful! So sad at times.
Nov 21, 2018 @ 02:27:04
Oh no. Tell me it’s not the end
Nov 21, 2018 @ 04:03:23
Title and epigram turn clouds and rain into drifting cold snow. All of it is here.
Nov 21, 2018 @ 09:30:51
Thank you Brendan!
Nov 21, 2018 @ 12:58:26
I relate to this so much. I think we all can. The brevity belies the unfathomable depth in the feeling of absence.
Nov 21, 2018 @ 14:07:50
Such poignancy in so few words – true art
Nov 21, 2018 @ 15:29:54
Beautiful tale of love and loss.
Nov 22, 2018 @ 00:51:16
Wonderful tale with a slightly surprising end that makes the fairy tale end early. The well composed Haiku softened the heartbreak some, don’t argue with the snowflakes and cherry blossoms.
I.e., I like it much, seemed just the right length to tell the story and set your readers’ mindset.
..
Jan 10, 2019 @ 13:25:23
Very intense. Such feeling.
Apr 05, 2019 @ 15:58:51
Powerful. Beautiful imagery.