Back in the Summer of Big Hair
“Your best days are ahead of you. The movie starts when the guy gets sober and puts his life back together; it doesn’t end there.” ― Bucky Sinister, Get Up: A 12-Step Guide to Recovery for Misfits, Freaks, and Weirdos
Many years ago,
back in the summer of big hair
I was cheffing in a small restaurant in PTown.
I was turning out 500 covers a night
and sucking down cocaine like it was Vick’s vapo-rub.
I carried my addiction with me for years
along with alcohol.
I went in and out of lovers like I went through nightly covers –
an endless production of food.
One night sitting at the edge of the ocean,
feeling the water getting higher and higher and higher
I sat until I was almost covered.
It came to me –
stupid. You are killing yourself.
I stood up and slogged myself to the shore.
I bottomed out and went the way of 12 Steps.
I picked a good sponsor. I got sober.
I learned to live not high.
I went to Japan.
I learned to honor the seasons.
I learned to love myself.
I came back home to the South.
I learned how to really live.
It is now October,
October of the season and October of my years.
I sit up in my oak tree
and enjoy the peace of the woods,
the impossibly blue sky, the sound of animals.
I love October.
I love the autumn more than I ever
loved the burning hot summer of my youth.
I draw the bow across my violin and begin to play.
La Musica Notturna Delle Strade Madrid from my personal playlist, a short version from the movie at the end of Master and Commander
kanzen sakura 
Oct 10, 2019 @ 12:52:31
I am so glad that you learned to live-and Japan… wow a place I would love to visit
Oct 10, 2019 @ 12:53:47
Thank you. I am back home in south now and enjoying it thoroughly.
Oct 10, 2019 @ 14:02:50
I drank down every word like an anthem of renewal. LOVED this poem! I admire the journey. And the contentment of this “October of our years”.
Oct 10, 2019 @ 14:31:54
Thank you Sherry. I am glad you like this. It has been a hard life, list 3 friends by suicide and two by OD. But I choose not to whine about it. It has been a journey of renewal, of making amends, of growing , of peace. I gave up my profession of professional chef; it wasn’t good for me. But I found love and fulfillment.
Oct 10, 2019 @ 15:31:15
You’re a courageous woman.
Oct 10, 2019 @ 15:34:31
Wow. Thank you Misky. I don’t look at myself as courageous, just surviving.
Oct 10, 2019 @ 16:55:07
This is incredibly poignant, Toni! ❤️ I resonate with “October of my years,” and admire the sensitivity with which this poem is penned. Thank you so much for writing to the prompt 🙂
Oct 10, 2019 @ 18:39:42
Thank you!
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Oct 10, 2019 @ 19:40:45
This left me breathless, happy, proud all rolled into one.
Oct 10, 2019 @ 19:48:28
Thank you Helen. Your positivity always makes me smile.
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Oct 10, 2019 @ 20:50:38
I agree with Helen… life of hard knocks finds contentment and peace. It took a lot of grit and determination to get there. Glad you can relax in your “October”. Keep playing that sweet violin.
Oct 10, 2019 @ 21:26:11
Thank you Margaret. ❤
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Oct 12, 2019 @ 01:02:15
Loved the ending so much….very comfy and soothing…at home feeling!!