Forgiveness

The Poets United Mid-week motif:  Forgiveness

Forgiveness
“The darkness of death is like the evening twilight; it makes all objects appear more lovely to the dying.” –
Jean Paul

As I take my daily walk I ask questions
in the silence of myself.
My footsteps are almost silent,
my breathing regular and my heartbeat rhythmic.
The wind is a brief breath
and the sunlight is beginning to get thin,
losing weight as the season progresses.
Can I forgive the leaves for dying,
for falling softly to the ground?
Can I forgive myself,
my mother dying, her faint breaths stopping…
just stopping.
Can I ever forgive you hanging yourself,
for the violence of your death,
for the thinking yourself unworthy to live
any longer?
For the grief you held in yourself,
for the sadness of your every day?
I stop in the midst of my walk
and look up at the sky,
like a river between the trees.
I stand and watch the leaves falling
one
by
one.
Will I ever forgive?
I will throw no stones into that river,
silently flowing overhead.

copyright kanzensakura

copyright kanzensakura

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. susanstoo
    Oct 23, 2019 @ 13:40:47

    Wow! The river above! The questions in the silence. Maybe not forgiving, but not condemning either. There is time, nothing but time. Thank you for this poem!

    Reply

  2. Eileen T O'Neill
    Oct 23, 2019 @ 16:57:17

    There are those times, when we find forgiveness to not be appropriate for that event. A sense of making that decision at a time of our choosing…your poem has many sad happenings and I suppose each one, requires a period of healing, before you might be ready to forgive…

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Oct 23, 2019 @ 18:06:57

      The difficult part was watching my mother die, watching for that last breath. My friend who committed suicide, I love him still. It will be hard forgiving him for his sorrow. Forgiveness is always appropriate.

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      Reply

      • magicalmysticalteacher
        Oct 25, 2019 @ 08:49:34

        Yes, forgiveness is always appropriate. If nothing else, it frees us from the staggering burden of revenge.

        Reply

        • kanzensakura
          Oct 25, 2019 @ 10:03:21

          Or carrying around that onerous burden of anger, sadness, or hate. One forgives. One does not always forget.

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          Reply

  3. gillena cox
    Oct 23, 2019 @ 16:57:29

    Luv that walk of contemplation, the river of sky and the hope of forgiveness even if it transgresses way into the otherside. Forgiveness in reality has no set time frame or pattern, it dangles from the string of hurt

    Much💞love

    Reply

  4. Sherry Marr
    Oct 23, 2019 @ 17:14:03

    This is deep, Toni, and written so well. I love especially the looking up at the river of sky. What a cool idea. There are some acts that are hard to forgive. When people choose a permanent action to escape their pain, they likely give little thought to the pain they leave behind for others.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Oct 23, 2019 @ 18:04:20

      And some people are overwhelmed by pain. It is sad when a loved one commits suicide. It is as sad to sit and watch your mother dying, waiting for that last breath.

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      Reply

  5. Margaret Elizabeth Bednar
    Oct 23, 2019 @ 22:55:57

    …these moments of melancholy, of yes, despair and sadness, of wanting to forgive – trying to understand seem to be a part of life as we age. They don’t call youth “carefree” for nothing … sigh. But yet, I’m all the richer for the experiences, and I will forgive and if not forget, then hopefully understand better. Hugs.

    Reply

  6. Sumana Roy
    Oct 24, 2019 @ 00:18:20

    All deaths, natural or unnatural make us look within and also look up to find some answers for the questions that keep rising up. A beautifully contemplative poem.

    Reply

  7. oldegg
    Oct 24, 2019 @ 01:34:50

    Time is very much like a river, slowing up as it nears the end and then it becomes part of a mysterous ocean that is unfathomable.

    Reply

  8. Michelle Denness
    Oct 24, 2019 @ 02:25:45

    Beautiful words such deep emotion for me.

    Reply

  9. kim881
    Oct 24, 2019 @ 03:35:26

    I need to resume my daily walks; they allow us to breathe and give us space to think. I like the thought of asking questions in the silence of oneself. I felt deeply the progression from forgiving the leaves for dying to your mother dying, Toni – that’s the way my leaf-thoughts would drift, too. I love the river of sky, which takes the poem back to the trees and leaves.

    Reply

  10. jaerose37
    Oct 24, 2019 @ 06:11:11

    Amidst the sadness you still seem to capture the sense of forgiveness space and time may just allow…

    Reply

  11. S Francis Fuller
    Nov 18, 2019 @ 15:12:16

    A powerful poem, well crafted into the turn and then wrapping up with that fantastic last line. Really well done, thank you for sharing today.

    Reply

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