Keeping Calm

For Sherry’s Prompt at Real Toads, keeping calm during the crisis of climate change.

Haibun: Keeping Calm
“The mightiest power of death is not that it can make people die, but that it can make the people you left behind want to stop living.” ― Fredrik Backman, My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry

Uh oh. Another one of Toni’s let’s get real and honest posts. With topics such as Trump, BREXIT, climate change – I find it hard to take any of it seriously. My husband died Sunday, suddenly, after a brief illness. I find it hard to keep calm in the face of a personal crisis. I don’t really care about a global crisis at this point. The love of my life died Sunday – a tall tree in a forest of fakes cut down in his prime. During his brief illness, I discovered again that the only thing that lasts forever is love. True honest unpretentious real love. One day I will care about the climate again. One day. Maybe it will be too late by the time I care again. Until then, I will wander through this empty house, stare at the Ursids by myself, look at the bare trees by myself. Love. That is it. The end-all and be-all. Love.
a tree cut down in its prime –
my heart grieves
my heart weeps

19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sherry Marr
    Dec 27, 2019 @ 17:11:40

    In the midst of such a deep personal loss, all other crises pale in comparison. This depth of grief demands one’s total attention. I hope that you feel your husband’s love in the home he built around you. I hope your special tree sings to you, as you have so often sung to it. I hope the animals you care for and feed come close to remind you there are other loves close by. I hope the small birds of spring will find you once the world turns warm again. I am so sorry, Toni. A loss this deep and so sudden must rock your entire world. Thinking of you.

    Reply

  2. susanstoo
    Dec 27, 2019 @ 23:03:48

    “a tall tree in a forest of fakes” O, Toni! I feel this like a knife, and weep for you as your heart weeps. You have, in getting very personal, given voice to others who grieve. Stick with the love, it is transforming. The rest of the world will still be here when you are ready for it.

    Reply

  3. revivedwriter
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 00:37:09

    I’m not sure what to say except 😦 . I am sorry, Toni.

    Reply

  4. Kestril Trueseeker
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 06:25:02

    I am so, so sorry. I wouldn’t be able to gather too many thoughts about climate change either when the sun in my sky is gone. I am glad that you have hope as a companion in this hard time.

    Reply

  5. merrildsmith
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 06:54:58

    Of course nothing else matters. How can it, right now when your heart and soul are grieving? I’m so sorry for your loss, especially that it is so sudden. The world will still be here when you are ready for it.

    Reply

  6. jaerose37
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 06:55:51

    I am so sorry for your loss – I think it is right to put things aside in the face of such personal loss. The world will still be here when the time is right

    Reply

  7. RedCat
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 07:37:54

    I know all to well how inadequate words are when grieving. So sending all my loving thoughts instead. ❤️

    Reply

  8. Rosemary Nissen-Wade
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 08:11:46

    Yes, at such a time the depth and hugeness of that love comes home to one more than ever. I’m glad you have been able to write about this (one of the main things that has got me through it) and to trust us all to hear your truth.

    Reply

  9. Marian
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 10:48:44

    Toni, I am so, so sorry for your tremendous loss. So sorry. Sending all my love your way.

    Reply

  10. Frank J. Tassone
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 11:23:08

    My heart breaks for you, Toni.

    Reply

  11. Frank J. Tassone
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 11:24:30

    Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
    #Haiku Happenings #7: Toni Spencer’s latest #haibun for Real Toads’ Keep Calm prompt. (I’m so sorry for your loss, Toni.)

    Reply

  12. whippetwisdom
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 12:17:45

    We are so sorry for your loss dear Toni. Sending hugs, nose kisses and lots of love from Eivor, Pearl and Xenia xxx

    Reply

  13. Marie Elena
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 15:44:16

    Sweet, sweet friend … your words leave me with none. Just the love.

    Reply

  14. fireblossom32
    Dec 28, 2019 @ 19:48:51

    So sorry, fren.

    Reply

  15. kim881
    Dec 29, 2019 @ 03:29:25

    I’ve not long finished reading that Fredrik Backman book and I remember that quote, which touched me deeply. I am so terribly sorry to read about your ‘tree cut down in its prime’, Toni. The death of a loved one is so painful, and you’ve had more than your share of pain. You are in my thoughts. Sending much love.

    Reply

  16. Kerry
    Dec 29, 2019 @ 03:47:24

    I am truly sorry for your loss, Toni. What a wrench to the soul to lose one who has been so tall a tree, root, branches and stem of your life.

    Reply

  17. Yvonne Osborne
    Dec 29, 2019 @ 14:22:07

    I am truly sorry for your loss.

    Reply

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