Ode to Dying Autumn

An ode in the style of Neruda.  Posted in Real Toads Tuesday Platform and dVerse Poets Pub: Meeting the Bar.

Nocturne in Black and Gold 1875 – Whistler

ode to dying autumn
here on this final day
before the first heavy frost,
the sun blazes through the trees
like a roaring wildfire
burning away the leaves –
sky and clouds,
turning into pitch-black night
before this final night
when heavy frost falls –
the *river of heaven flows –
the tiny lights of the stars
reflect off the wings
of the ghost owl
gliding through the night.
The night is an explosion of black and gold –
a painting by Whistler.
The day dawns grey
and cold with frost covering all –
a veil of hoarfrost –
The year’s dying bride walks down the aisle
of the church of trees –
The cloud mother weeps at her child
going down that long aisle to the end –
her raintears wash away the colors
of the leaves like so much paint,
disappearing down the ditches –
the trees reflect off the street
like an Impressionist painting,
I stand and watch the leaves make their way
to the creek at the foot of the hill –
little dinghies floating on the water.
And now it is day.
the frost is gone.
the bride is gone.
Autumn has left the building –
Winter is waiting its cue to enter.
cold and rainy day –
leaves fall like rain – colors fade –
silence descends like snow

*river of heaven – amanogawa – Japanese for the Milky Way – it is a seasonal kigo for haiku

49 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Victoria C. Slotto
    Nov 07, 2017 @ 20:32:05

    Beautiful, beginning with the Whistler painting and, of course, including him in the poem. Autumn has left the building here. Last night we had our first hard freeze. The yard was covered with hoarfrost and the gorgeous bright colors have succumbed to brown. Not to mention the raking the winds’ gift to us.

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Nov 07, 2017 @ 20:48:12

      It sounds cold. I have revised this yet again so you may want to re-read, if you can stand it. I have always loved that painting by Whistler – all black and gold….I am finally happy with this revision and embedded a haiku at the end. Aint I clever? LOL. Take care of yourself.

      Sent from Mail for Windows 10

      ________________________________

      Reply

  2. ladynyo
    Nov 07, 2017 @ 21:20:22

    And so you should be proud of this one.

    Reply

  3. thotpurge
    Nov 07, 2017 @ 21:31:04

    The year’s dying bride walks down the aisle
    of the church of trees – very evocative..

    Reply

  4. erbiage
    Nov 08, 2017 @ 03:13:05

    cute little dinghys, laughing at leaving the building, and oh! the silence of snow…

    Reply

  5. sanaarizvi
    Nov 08, 2017 @ 03:48:31

    This is so incredibly beautiful Toni!💕 Gosh, the tone, the imagery and mood describes the dying of autumn so well! Especially love; “The day dawns grey and cold with frost covering all – a veil of hoarfrost”.. *swoon*💕

    Reply

  6. Frank J. Tassone
    Nov 08, 2017 @ 06:13:26

    A beautiful tribute to the passing of Autumn into winter!

    Reply

  7. Sherry Marr
    Nov 08, 2017 @ 14:16:10

    Your imagery in this poem is exquisite. Truly lovely. I especially love the river of heaven………and the light of the stars reflecting off the wings of the ghost owl………

    Reply

  8. magicalmysticalteacher
    Nov 08, 2017 @ 15:42:32

    I love your footnote about “river of heaven.” I will never view the Milky Way again without thinking of it. Thank you!

    Reply

  9. annell4
    Nov 08, 2017 @ 16:05:48

    Have you ever noticed how quiet it is after the snow has fallen? Almost scary, my ears strain to hear a sound….. any sound. but there is only silence.

    Reply

  10. Marja
    Nov 08, 2017 @ 20:44:02

    Love your images especially the year’s dying bride walks down the aisle
    of the church of trees and the cloud mother and the dinghies. This transports me to a different time as here it is nearly summer

    Reply

  11. Sumana Roy
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 00:38:32

    “The night is an explosion of black and gold –” Can’t tell how I love this line & also the image of the cloud mother.

    Reply

  12. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 15:12:06

    Love this praise to the season we might often shun… every month has it’s beauty… love it.

    Reply

  13. Shawna
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 15:15:10

    Good golly, that is gorgeous imagery.

    “a veil of hoarfrost –
    The year’s dying bride walks down the aisle
    of the church of trees –
    The cloud mother weeps at her child
    going down that long aisle to the end “

    Reply

    • kanzensakura
      Nov 09, 2017 @ 15:21:38

      Thank you dear Shawna. Are you going to post with us today (she asked with her fingers crossed behind her back)?

      Reply

      • Shawna
        Nov 09, 2017 @ 16:17:00

        It’s my sweetie’s birthday, and I’ve been sick. So I don’t think I can. But I’m reading here and there.

        I’m presently being covered in chocolate toddler kisses. My son helped me make Daddy’s brownies. 🙂 We

        Reply

  14. kim881
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 15:21:58

    A gorgeous ode, Toni, to my favourite time of year. I love the lines:
    ‘the sun blazes through the trees
    like a roaring wildfire
    burning away the leaves’;
    ‘The night is an explosion of black and gold –
    a painting by Whistler’;
    and
    ‘a veil of hoarfrost –
    The year’s dying bride walks down the aisle
    of the church of trees’.

    Reply

  15. Frank Hubeny
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 15:44:03

    I liked the sun burning away the leaves and autumn walking like a bride down the aisle of church trees. Nice ode to autumn.

    Reply

  16. Glenn Buttkus
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 16:53:43

    A very strong piece–one of your best–the word smithing, as noted, was superb. You really had me at /river of heaven/–damn. I wish I had thought of using the Neruda style–Ioved every inch, every breath of this.

    Reply

  17. alisonhankinson
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 17:04:27

    I’m still holding on to her skirts…winter isn’t through the door yet….there are still leaves to be shed…one or two…

    Reply

  18. Candy
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 18:52:51

    Oh my, this is just luscious and wonderful to read aloud

    Reply

  19. Grace
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 20:11:14

    Beautiful share Toni ~ I specially love:

    a veil of hoarfrost –
    The year’s dying bride walks down the aisle
    of the church of trees –

    Reply

  20. Vivian Zems
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 20:38:58

    Beautifully done…the sun blazes through the trees
    like a roaring wildfire—–excellent!

    Reply

  21. Anna
    Nov 09, 2017 @ 23:02:34

    Loved your use of lyric and impressionistic language to paint the picture of autumn’s swan song.

    Reply

  22. mhmp77
    Nov 10, 2017 @ 05:17:39

    kaykuala

    Autumn has left the building –
    Winter is waiting its cue to enter.
    silence descends like snow

    Autumn will be sorely missed. That seems to be in everybody’s mind!

    Hank

    Reply

  23. Jane Dougherty
    Nov 10, 2017 @ 06:28:10

    What a beautiful last line!

    Reply

  24. Jae Rose
    Nov 10, 2017 @ 10:34:40

    Beautifully written

    Reply

  25. Laura Bloomsbury
    Nov 10, 2017 @ 11:54:10

    this is divine! such a gorgeous requiem to autumn – “to the creek at the foot of the hill –
    little dinghies floating on the water”

    Reply

  26. Kathy Reed
    Nov 10, 2017 @ 12:32:17

    Beautiful….I like the analogy of the bride walking down then aisle, the ghost owl, and the Milky Way..all among a Whistler impressionist painting!

    Reply

  27. hypercryptical
    Nov 10, 2017 @ 14:16:32

    Pure beauty – wonderful!
    Anna :o]

    Reply

  28. nosaintaugustine
    Nov 10, 2017 @ 17:34:11

    I love the imagination in this! This dream-state of nature and these unearthly dream-people are a beautiful way of describing this very natural transition of the seasons. Nicely done!

    Reply

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